


I'm having your baby (it's none of your business)

by sugarbabyharry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Abused Harry, Abusive Louis, Abusive Relationships, Bottom Harry, Drug Addict Louis Tomlinson, Drug Use, Famous Louis, I almost forgot, I'll add more tags later, I'm kidding thx don't attack me, Lots of Sex, M/M, Male Pregnancy, Mpreg, Mpreg Harry, Non-Famous Harry, Pregnant Harry Styles, Rape, Sad Harry, Top Louis, University Student Harry, You've been warned, also, and ugly, anyway, don't read this if you hate this, i love smutty fics bye, i'm weak, larry au, or if you're weak, theres a lot of smuts ok, this is very sad
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-29
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-11-06 08:19:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 16
Words: 37,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11032302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugarbabyharry/pseuds/sugarbabyharry
Summary: Louis was in the biggest band in the world and his boyfriend of three years Harry just wanted to live a normal life.Everything was fine until Louis came home from tour and left an incident haunting Harry, who, because of said incident, wasn't pregnant with a child Louis didn't want.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this since Harry's album came out and suddenly I've wrote over 30 chapters so after debating about it I decided to post it :) 
> 
> Please don't send hate lol.

It all started when Harry was 14, that's when he met him. Then years later they started going out, being more than just friends.

That's when Harry's innocent mind was corrupted and he didn't mind, he'd do anything Louis told him to do. They were high school sweethearts and everyone dreamed of a relationship as beautiful as theirs at an early age.

Louis Louis Louis.

That's all Harry ever thought about ever since he met him, and now years past and Louis get to live his dreams when he signed a contract with the production company who was more than happy to have him since they heard a song Louis performed for them, it was a song Harry and him wrote together and they loved it.

Louis met his band mates on the first year of College, and they fit together perfectly, the managements loves them all.

Harry was there throughout the whole journey, he couldn't believe that his boyfriend was gonna be the next big thing.

And he wasn't wrong cause not just a year later, everyone went crazy over their first single and asked for more, all teenagers all over the world went crazy because of his boyfriend's band.

And at the age of 20, Louis Tomlinson was the biggest teen heartthrob, favorite lead singer and nominate for more than one international awards for his band and for himself.

Harry was only 18 then, he was studying in the UNI of his dream in London and Louis wasn't the only one living his dreams.

They went from sharing a small flat to a whole penthouse there in London, sure, Louis' fans knew who Harry was but Harry wasn't into the idea of getting famous so he didn't attend most of Louis' events or the one he was invited to, Louis completely understands that and respect Harry's privacy, so going out together was a little bit hard for them with all those fans and paparazzi chasing them around, never have an alone time together cause Louis' bodyguards was always around them. Always.

It was when Harry was 19 and Louis was 21 when Louis had just returned from his world tour for 8 months, he's been gone for eight months and Harry was left alone to study and to be 'normal', spending his days being just Harry instead of Louis Tomlinson's boyfriend.

But now Louis' tour days are over, he said he'll be on break for a few weeks until he'll be back in the studio for his next album.

The first week he came back, he wasn't entirely always home, and when he is, his manager would come by and talk about something Harry could care less. But after the first week that's when Louis actually get a break from everything.

Louis would wake up to Harry serving him breakfast in bed, and maybe a morning blowjob if Harry was in the mood, that's how week two of his break went by, and he was so glad he has Harry as a boyfriend, as a best friend and someone who has stick with him all these years.

"I don't want to go out tonight, Louis." Harry groaned, Louis was practically pulling him out the door of their flat.

"It's just dinner, Harold, it won't be taking hours." Louis explained, he needed to go out, he has been stuck in their flat for two weeks now and he's starting to miss his world tour.

  
\--

"How's school?" Louis asked while they were at the restaurant, Harry realized he wasn't dressed for a restaurant as fancy as this but Louis said it doesn't matter, though to Harry it mattered.

Harry was studying fashion and he needed to be on his best outfit at all time or he'll feel like a bad fashion student. "I've been distracted lately, with you being home and all. I missed you."

"You've told me that everyday for the past two weeks now, Harry." Louis chuckled, his hand reaching over to rest on top of Harry's on the table. "I missed you too, but, you've got to study."

Harry rolled his eyes, playfully. "Yes,mom."

The dinner went great, what went wrong was their way back inside their car since everyone figured where Louis was, it wasn't easy to leave by the front door so they asked the restaurant manager to leave from the back door which were also crowded with fans and paparazzi, if it was up to Harry he'd past through all of these people who tried to grab his boyfriend's arm or just screaming strings of I love you, but Louis had to stop a couple of times and letting them take pictures with him.

By the time they get into their car, Harry was exhausted, completely ignoring Louis as the driver made his way back to their penthouse.

"How do they even found us?" Louis chuckled, looking out the window to the view of the road, a couple of cars was still chasing them and Harry knows they're gonna have trouble getting in their building.

Harry was annoyed he said that, as if Louis didn't just posted a picture on Instagram with Harry and the view of the restaurant on the background was clear and obvious to know where they are. He didn't said anything though, he knew pictures or not, his fans will manage to find him.

"Harry, it wasn't that bad." Louis tried as they walked in their penthouse, Harry was still silent from the ride. "It wasn't as bad as that time we were at the airport."

"It's just, I didn't want to go out and you made me and I had to deal with that." Harry finally spoke, throwing his coat on the coat hanger, he didn't even got it to hang properly which made Louis fix it cause he knows Harry will get moody if he sees his coats aren't properly hanging by the time Harry's alright again.

Louis sneak up behind Harry, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend. "Well, at least we're alone now aren't we?"

Harry didn't said anything, he just let Louis hold him in the middle of their living room. "And I've got something for us,"

He let go of Harry walking over to the kitchen, he took something out of their kitchen's set drawer, waving the plastic which contains something green inside.

"Louis, you're kidding." Harry hopes. "You know I don't don't do drugs."

"It's just weed, lighten yourself up." Louis informed, walking back towards the boy with a smirk on his face.

So a couple of drinks and hand rolled laters, Harry was sat on Louis' lap on their sofa for three, Louis had his legs rested on the coffee table, a squirming boy on his lap as he pinched the boy's nipple every time he started rubbing his ass down Louis' -now- semi hard cock.

"Can you get another bottle, please,darling?" Louis asked, throwing the empty bottle of wine on the other side of the sofa.

Harry groaned, he didn't want to get up and he did thinks they had enough, he felt like he's about to pass out. "We've had enough already,"

Louis inhale the hand rolled between his finger, handing it to Harry. "One more bottle won't hurt, love."

Harry shakes his head, no, inhaling the weed between his fingers, resting his head on Louis' chest.

He gasped when he felt Louis' fingers once again, pinching his right nipple over his shirt. "I'll get it," and with that Harry stood up, stumbling his way to get another bottle. He made it back safely, Louis taking the bottle from his hand letting the boy sat back on his lap, where he belonged.

"Where was the wine opener, love?" Louis asked, reaching over the side of the sofa when he saw the wine opener, twisting the bottle open. The weed was still between Harry's finger as he inhale one more time.

Louis passed the bottle after he chugged it down but Harry shakes his head, no. "I've had enough,"

Louis pulls the squirming boy closer to him, pressing his lips against the boy's letting the boy kissed back before his tongue slipped inside Harry's mouth.

Harry moaned against him, pulling away to breathe and putting out the join on his fingers, before turning back to give his boyfriend another sloppy kiss.

"Louis," Harry moaned when the older man bit his bottom lip hard he could've start bleeding.

Louis pull on his boy's shirt, he managed to take it off of him, breaking their kiss in the process but their lips was once again against each other.

Harry also managed to get Louis' shirt off of him, and it wasn't long till both boys had nothing on, still clinging into each other on the sofa, Louis laying on his back with Harry on top of him. "Get the lube," Louis commanded, Harry whined he didn't want to get up and Louis have been ordering him around all night, hell, Louis hasn't even got up from the sofa ever since they sat there tonight.

"Why can't you do it?!" Harry slurred, earning another pinch on his nipple, he gasped again at Louis' touch.

"Do you want me to fuck you like this?" He warned making the already tired boy got up and made his way into their room to get their bottle of lube and a packet of condom, he didn't know why they can't just do it in here instead of Harry going back and forth since their penthouse was pretty big it was exhausting.

He returned with Louis sitting up on the sofa, tugging at his own cock, Harry just stood there and stare until Louis looked up to him. "Don't just stand there, are you going to spread that lube on me or not?"

Harry was confused with what's going on, he don't know what he should do or where he should sit and why does he has to do all the work ? why can't Louis put on the lube himself?

Louis saw how confused Harry was, he sighed. "On your knees, sweetheart."

Harry wasn't going to listen to him but since he had no idea what Louis wanted, he obeyed his boyfriend, kneeling on their carpet next to Louis' legs that was spread on the coffee table. "Go on then, cover me in lube."

He nodded, opening the cap of the bottle, squirting it on his hand before rubbing his lube covered palm against Louis' hard cock. "Aren't you going to prep me first?" He asked when he realized his whole was still untouched and too tight for Louis.

"I was thinking," Louis smirked. "To try and see if I can tear you open with nothing but my cock."

"Louis, don't," Harry was scared to even try, he knows it'll be hurt. "I don't think I can do that, just prep me a little, I'll be fine with just two fingers, please, Louis?"

"Nonsense, darling, you'll be fine. I fucked you this morning you're stretched enough." Louis pat the empty seat next to him signaling Harry to sit by him, he obeyed again, sitting next to his boyfriend. "Don't you trust me? We can stop if you can't take it, sweetheart."

He was right, Harry had to trust him and he had to try once in his life, and Louis promised he'll stop if it gets too much so why not give it a go?

"Okay," Harry squeaked, Louis smirked, leaning in for another kiss against each other lips.

"Go on then, ride my cock." Louis said when he pulled away. Harry nodded, getting in between Louis, slowly about to go down until he realized something was missing.

"Louis, you haven't-um, the condom?" Harry slurred but Louis just smirked again, God, he looks so hot with a cocky smirk plastered on his face.

"We are going to fuck raw," Louis whispered against Harry's ear as if someone else might heard them though they were literally the only one in their huge penthouse. "And filled you up, don't you want that, baby?"

Harry would've protest but he knows he'll just loose the argument once more so he nodded again before slowly sinking down on Louis' cock, screaming as he let it stretched him opened.

They never done any of these before, out of all these years he had never let Louis fuck him bare or unprepared and he was doing all this now for Louis and he didn't know if he likes it or not.

"Hurts, Lou." Harry's eyes started to fill with tears as his hands rested on Louis' chest and Louis' hand was squeezing his bare hips.

"Fuck, I bet it does." Louis was watching tears roll down his boyfriend's face as he fuck up to him. "Come on, Harry, you'll get used to this, do you want to lay down? Will that hurts less?"

Harry nodded, he didn't know if it was going to hurt less but he hoped it hurts less than this, Louis helped him pulled out and lay the boy down on the sofa, Louis spread his legs one more time before slowly entering the still crying boy.

Harry screamed once more, holding onto Louis' shoulder as he thrust deeper. "Louis! It hurts!"

"Shh, it'll get better in a minute, patience, darling." Louis kissed his forehead as he thrust in and out of his boy's wrecked hole. "You've been so good tonight, listening to whatever I told you, you make me so proud, baby."

Harry didn't said anything, he was focusing on the feeling inside his hole, waiting for it to feel good but he felt nothing but pain, and he hated it but Louis promised it'll feel good soon. "Louis, slow down," Harry breathed when Louis decided he should go faster.

Louis slowed down again, still in search for Harry's spot and- he knew he got it when Harry screamed once more and a trailed of moan followed after.

That's when Louis goes faster once more, hitting it repeatedly and Harry felt both pain and pleasure from that. "Go slower," Harry told him but Louis didn't listen, instead he was going faster than he did before.

Harry cried when Louis leaned down to bit one of his nipple, still going at a strong pace. "Please, Louis, it hurts."

Louis wasn't listening to him at this point, he just needed to come from how tight Harry felt between his cock. "Louis, stop, please, I'm tired."

"I'm close, Harry," he told him as if Harry didn't said anything. "I'm gonna fill you up so good-Ah!"

And with that Louis came inside him, he didn't even pulled out for a couple of minutes until Harry realized Louis has passed out on top of him with his dick still inside Harry.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry woke up on their shared king sized bed, he was feeling two different kinds of pains at the same time. One from his head and the other from his ass.

He didn't remember how he get to bed last night, hell, he didn't even remember anything that happened last night.

All he know he probably had a great fuck and drank too much from his headache and the pain he got from his bum.

He heard footsteps coming in their room and realized Louis was not next to him. "Morning,baby, how are you feeling?"

"Everything hurts," Harry croaked, realizing his throats also feels like shit. "What happened last night?"

"We had a great night, I believe." Louis didn't even remembered most of what happened last night, but he just assumed when he woke up this morning they had a great night, that's when he decided to move Harry inside their room to sleep more comfortably.

Harry groaned, sitting up on the bed. "I don't think I can walk," he felt weak all over his body and he didn't even want to try and get up.

Louis just smiled, kissing the boy's forehead and helped the limping boy walks towards the bathroom.

  
\---

  
"Louis, slow down."

"It hurts, Louis!"

"Louis, stop please!"

Harry jerked up the bed, to see the dark room and glance at the clock, it was only 4 in the morning and once again he was having nightmares of the same thing over and over again for the past 5 days, he'd have dreams of Louis and Him on their sofa, Louis was hurting him- the dream itself was always the same and it almost felt like it happened.

But if it happened Harry would remember, and Louis would never hurt him, would he?

  
It was around three weeks later when Louis woke up to the sound of Harry in the bathroom, throwing up on the toilet and coughing uncontrollably.

"Harry?" Louis called, getting up from the bed in a rush, running towards their connected en suite to find Harry on his knees, leaning against the toilet. "Baby? Are you okay?"

Harry didn't moved, he was still coughing and he didn't dare look up to Louis looking like this.

Louis hand him a pack of toilet paper, Harry took it from him, wiping his mouth before he turned around. "Holy shit, what did you had last night?"

Harry recalled to last night's dinner, he didn't remember eating anything he never ate before, and he cooked last night, he couldn't possibly poisoned himself. "It could've been the milk I've had last night, probably expired."

He just guessed though he was sure the carton of the milk said the expiration date was not until next week. "But I'm fine, all good."

Four days passed and Harry woke up with himself running in the bathroom and doing the same routine of throwing up inside his own toilet, Louis always followed in and asked if he's okay, it's been four days in a row and Louis was starting to get worried. "I think it's best if you see a doctor after class today, yeah?"

Louis was behind Harry, holding his long curly hair back as Harry threw out all of the food he had last night.

Harry nodded, taking a toilet paper to wipe his mouth, turning to face Louis. "Will you come with me?"

Louis sighed, he had to meet up with his band mates today to discuss their new upcoming album.

"I'm sorry, I can't today, love." Louis felt so bad when he saw the frowned on Harry's face. "But hey, I'll be right here when you get home and I'm sure it's nothing too serious, Yeah?"

So Harry went with his best friend, Sarah, she was also a fashion student with Harry, they've been friends since the first year of UNI and Harry trust her more than anyone else in school, they were far too close and she wasn't there for Harry because he's dating Louis Tomlinson, he guessed, that's what he loves the most about Sarah.

While he was at the doctor, Louis, was with his band mates and their managements discussing when they should start working on the new album.

Louis was sat next to his drummer, Liam and Zayn was across from him sitting with Niall. Niall was their lead guitarist while Zayn played the bass, they had agreed on starting to get back in the studio sometimes next month and the long meeting had come to an end.

"So, why aren't Harry with you?" Zayn asked when they're the only one left in the room.

Everyone knows Zayn has a thing for Harry, even though he won't admit it, it was obvious he thinks Harry's cute and wants to fuck him once or twice, even when Harry's around he always flirts with him even with Louis in the room. Zayn was shameless when it comes to Harry.

Louis didn't need to tell Zayn Harry's sick so he didn't feel like answering his question but then the door swung opened and Louis' bodyguard, Alberto stands there. "Louis, Harry's here- I had to escort him from his car, should I send him in?"

What the fuck, why did Harry drove all the way here? Now he started to get nervous that whatever's been going on might be serious. "Yeah, send him in."

It wasn't long after he left that the door swung back open with a crying Harry. "Louis- can I talk to you in private?"

He looked around the boys who had their eyes widen to see how much of a mess Harry was right now.

Louis stood up from his seat, taking Harry's hand, pulling him out of the room and onto the hallway of the building, there were a lot of people so he went inside a door and it was an empty meeting room.

"What happened? Are you okay? Is everything fine?"

That's when Harry started crying again, Louis was beyond scared now. Is he dying?

"I'm-" Harry trailed off, he wasn't sure how to say it or how to not make it sounds weird coming from him. "I'm pregnant..?"

"You what?!" Louis furrowed his brows. This was confusing as fuck. How can Harry get pregnant? Is this all just a big joke?

Harry shakes his head, he doesn't even know himself what's going on with him. "Th-the doctor said, i'm pregnant- he said something about me being able to get pregnant- I don't know ask Sarah I was too scared to listen."

Louis stayed silent, it was hard to believe that his boyfriend was pregnant. "I- are you actually?"

"Me and Sarah bought pregnancies tests to be sure and-" Harry trailed off to look at Louis who was zoned out.

Harry didn't said anything after, he was scared of how Louis would react and somehow him staying silent was even more scary than what Harry had thought.

"Louis?" Harry called, Louis finally took a deep breath and looked at his boyfriend who's cheek was covered in tears stain.

Harry couldn't wait till he gets home to tell him this?! "We'll talk at home, I have work to do."

And with that Louis left Harry alone in the empty room.

Harry spent another few hours in their penthouse and Louis wasn't back home yet, he was starting to get worried Louis is really pissed at him.

When he heard the front door opened, he rushed out of their bed room to find Louis by the door, taking off his coat.

"Why didn't you told me you were one of the guys that were able to get pregnant?" Louis started, angrily. "How can you kept that from me all these years?!"

"Louis, I didn't know-"

"That's bullshit! You can't just not know stuff like this! And you still let me fuck you without protection!"

"I really didn't know, Louis." Tears build up once more in Harry's eyes, he knew Louis was going to get really pissed at him. "I'm sorry, I- wouldn't have let it happened if i knew-"

Louis walked up to his boyfriend, his eyes was full of hatred and Harry didn't know why Louis was blaming all this on him. "Listen, Harry, I can't be seen with a child and I'm not even ready for a child. So please, get rid of it."

No.

Harry was scared Louis would say this, Harry can't get rid of their baby, what if he did and Harry won't be able to get pregnant ever again? He isn't going to let go of the fetus growing in his stomach, he won't let anyone hurt him.

Harry shakes his head,no. "I can't,"

"Get rid of it," Louis repeated himself. "Get rid of it or get the fuck out of here."

That was quick, did Louis planned all his words before? He didn't even hesitate to say these. "Y-you can't just kick me out, Louis, this is our house-"

"I said get the fuck out of here!" Louis raised his voice. "Or kill that thing right fucking now!"

Harry shakes his head, no, he can't leave this house, he has nowhere to go and he wants to keep his baby and it should be his choice not Louis' "Louis, I cant."

Louis took a deep breath, he was getting impatient and he can't do this right now. Why can't Harry just listen to him and kill that fetus?

Harry didn't said anything as he walks way from Louis and into their shared bedroom, locking the door in case Louis tried to get in and told him to leave. He can't leave he had nowhere to go and he needs the baby's father. How can Louis just decided to kick him out ?

Hours has passed and Louis still hasn't bothered to try and get Harry out of their room, Harry's stomach was making uncomfortable noises and he knows both him and the baby were hungry and he need to leave this room sometimes.

So he did, walking out of his room trying not to make any noise as he made his way in the kitchen to see Louis in there, going through the fridge. "Do we ever have anything to eat?" Louis broke the silence first.

Harry walked over to him to see that their fridge was nowhere near empty and there's so many things to cook. "I'll start dinner, is there anything you want?"

Louis shrugged, he didn't care as long as he eats. "Anything's fine,"

Harry nodded, looking around the fridge to see what's a good meal to make tonight.

"So, you've decided on abortion?" Louis asked, out of the sudden, Harry turned around to face his boyfriend with his brows furrowed.

Harry just stares at him silently, before speaking. "I'm keeping our baby, Lou."

"Harry, you're being selfish." Louis took both of Harry's hands on his. "I can't be seen with a child, they're already sending you death threats, now imagine how much more hatred you- and the baby going to get when everyone finds out your pregnant."

Harry couldn't believe that keeping his baby is selfish to Louis when it's no one but Harry's choice whether he wants to keep it or not. "You have no idea how selfish you sounded, do you? I'm keeping our baby, Lou, that's final."

Louis knows when it comes to baby, and Harry actually having the chance to carry their child, he can't fight Harry on this. "Then why are you still here?"

He let go of both of Harry's hands, his words hurts Harry more than anything he ever heard from Louis' fans telling him to die or leave Louis alone. "Louis, we are going to be family, us! That's all we ever wanted, if anything you should be the happiest to hear this news."

"This baby is going to fucking end my career do you not realize that!" Louis raised his voice, he was getting impatient with Harry.

Harry couldn't believe his ears. Louis actually thinks his job worth so much more than their baby.

That's when Harry started crying again, in all honesty, he was surprised that he still have tears left in his eyes by this point. "Your job shouldn't be more important than your child-"

His words was cut off when he received a hard slap on his right cheek. His own palms crawled up his cheek that was stinging by now, he looked Louis in the eyes and saw nothing but anger.

"My job is the reason we have this place! The reason you're still in fucking school!" Louis was nothing but yelling by now. "Fucking hell, you're acting like my job is something I can find within a month after I got fucking fired!"

Harry didn't said anything, tears was still rolling down his eyes, one of his hand on his bruised cheek and his other hand was on his stomach, feeling like he needs some kinds of protection for the baby.

"I'm going out," Louis announced, leaving the kitchen and grabbing his coat. "When I came back you better have that baby fucking gone."

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Harry was sat on their sofa waiting for his boyfriend to come home, he fell asleep for about half an hour until he got awake by his own dream.

It was the same dream again, Louis was on top of him, going in faster even when Harry told him to stop, he woke up to be on the exact same spot he was in his dream.

It always felt so real and less blurry every time he had the same dream. He didn't dare tell Louis about it, he shrugged it off cause it was only a dream, but now that he was nothing but scared of Louis, he was scared Louis might actually hurt him now, and hurt as in more than just a hard slap that Harry could still feel on his right cheek.

He heard the front door opened, quickly sitting up and turned to see Louis who was taking off his coat.

"Louis," Harry got up, walking over to the boy, he told himself not to cry but he did when he saw the hatred in Louis' eyes just by hearing Harry said his name. "Lou, please don't make me kill the baby, or leave."

Louis stayed quiet. "I'll do anything but please let me keep our baby,"

"Anything?" Louis finally spoke up, Harry nodded repeatedly only to get a smirk from Louis' face.

Why was he smiling even in the slightest? "Get on your knees and beg for it."

"What?" Harry was confused with what he just heard. Louis wants him to get on his knees and beg for what?

But he obeyed anyway, the moment he got on his knees was a moment a flash of his dream appeared in his mind, he was on his knee in front of Louis, putting on lube for him- he remembered that part of his dream very clearly.

"Go on then, beg." Louis looked down at his boyfriend who was looking up at him with tears still rolling down his face.

Fuck. He didn't exactly knows what to say. "Louis, please- I, let me keep our baby."

"You'll do anything, won't you, sweetheart?" Louis traced his fingers through Harry's curls, tugging on it when Harry looked down just to have him look back up to him. "No more disobeying me, is that clear?"

Harry nodded.

Louis' smirk just grew bigger at that. He let go of Harry's hair, Harry tried not to winced at the pain he got. "Good boy."

And with that Louis walks away leaving the kneeling boy on his knees by the front door.

A few minutes later, Harry followed Louis into their room, finding Louis on their bed, tapping the empty spot next to him. "Come here, pet, we have some rules to make."

Harry obeyed, crawling up the bed next to him, Louis leaned in to kiss Harry's cheek where he just slapped a few hours ago, acting as if he didn't hurt Harry earlier though the mask was still visible.

"Listen, you better don't fucking tell anyone about this fucking baby, Sarah knew, I hope you can shut her up." Louis started. "And tomorrow we're going to get you a plug-"

"A what?" Harry cuts him off which in result; he got one of his nipple twisted making him groaned in pain.

"I wasn't finished, don't you ever cut me off." Louis warned, it was a thing they always do, Louis would pinch Harry's nipples now and then, this shouldn't surprised Harry but it does. "We're going to plug you so whenever I want to fuck you you'll be prepared enough, do you understand me?"

"Why can't you just open me up first- ah! Louis!" His own words got cut off by another twist on his covered nipple. "Okay, yes, I understand."

"Next rule, don't fucking ever question me- where I've been, what I want, or anything at all."

Harry frowned at that. He was Louis' boyfriend and he wasn't allowed to ask him where he had been? "Louis, I'm your boyfriend-"

He trailed off, he knows better than to fight Louis right now. "And love, there will be punishments whenever you disobey me, what should your punishment be?"

Punishment?! Where did Louis get any of these ideas from?! He didn't want to get punished, he's a grown man and he's having Louis' child for god sake! "I don't want to get punished, Louis."

"Then don't fucking disobey me," Louis pointed out. "Five spanks every time you disobey me, agree?"

Spanking?! Hell no! But is Harry actually going to tell Louis that, he wouldn't dare. So he nodded which made a smile crawled up Louis' face.

Louis leaned in to peck his boyfriend's lips, his hand made his way to Harry's stomach.

Harry almost flinched but Louis didn't do anything, he just rest his hand on Harry's growing stomach.

"Your mommy's going to be daddy's good little slut, won't he?"

  
\---

  
The next few morning, Harry's routine of throwing up in their bathroom was still going on, only these days Louis doesn't followed after him and hold his hair or pass him the toilet paper.

Louis hadn't bought the plug he told Harry about or tell Harry to do anything Harry was scared he had to do, the past few days has been so quiet other than Harry throwing up. "Are you done? I need to use the bathroom." He heard Louis said from outside the bathroom.

"What's wrong with the other bathroom?" Harry said referring to the bathroom outside their room.

He didn't heard Louis said anything but he heard their bedroom door opened, he was glad Louis didn't fight him on this.

By breakfast, Louis was too occupied with his phone he didn't bothered looking up to Harry who placed his breakfast in front of him.

"Louis, are you going to eat?" Harry was annoyed since his food was half finished while Louis hasn't touched his food yet.

Louis finally looked up to him, putting his phone down. "What did I said about questioning me,"

Harry gulped, he thought Louis had forgotten all about that since he hasn't actually did anything to Harry ever since they had that talk.

"Get up," was all that Louis said, Harry wasn't going to obey but he knew he should so he did, he got up and soon enough Louis got up from his seat too, taking Harry by the arm, pulling him towards the kitchen counter, his front was collided with the counter while his back was facing Louis. "Bend over,"

Harry bend on the counter, he didn't know why Louis was doing this so early in the morning. He felt his boxers shorts- the only thing he was wearing besides Louis' shirt he borrowed- being tugged down and falls on his ankles revealing his bare bum.

The moment he felt a sharp slap was the moment he screamed. He didn't know why he screamed.

"Quiet," Louis said before throwing another slap on Harry's cheek.

Harry bit his bottom lip to make sure no noise slipped out his mouth as Louis gave him a third spank.

"Louis, that's enough. I'm sorry." Harry tried which just earned him another slap.

"Don't you fucking dare tell me what to do." And with that the received his final spank, Louis didn't even said or do anything, he just left the kitchen with Harry still in position and his untouched breakfast.

It was a Saturday so Harry didn't have classes, he went back to bed with a red bum and an unfinished meal since he couldn't bring himself to eat after what happened.

"Harry, what the fuck are you doing getting back to sleep?" He heard Louis' voice, he can't be bothered to open his eyes. He was tired but the bed covers was thorn away from him.

Harry looked up to see a glaring Louis. "Get up, come check out your plug- I ordered it online and it's here. fuck I love it, can't wait to see it inside you."

The next thing Harry knew he was on all fours on the bed, his head rested on his pillow as Louis fingered him open. "Fuck, how are you still so fucking right after all these years?"

"Lou," Harry moaned, he was enjoying this, there's no denying on that, he loves the feeling of three of Louis' fingers inside him, opening him up. "Fuck me,"

"Who said I was going to fuck you, hm?" Louis chuckled, pulling out his fingers and spreading Harry's cheek to see his work.

Harry whined which earns him a slap on one of his bum cheek.

Suddenly, he felt the toy slipping inside him, making the younger boy screamed as Louis' thrust it deeper and deeper till it fits perfectly inside him. "Fuck, looks so good like this."

Harry clenched around the plug, trying to get used of the feeling of having a plug inside him.

"Turn around, baby." Louis commanded, Harry turned around wincing at the toy inside his ass. He was faced with a smirking Louis who leaned in to give his boyfriend a kiss. "You're so good to me, aren't you? Such a good boy."

That somehow warms Harry's heart to have Louis giving him sweet kisses and praising him for being so good. This was what Harry wanted at all time. "I love you, Lou."

"I love you too, baby. So much." It was surprising to hear that from Louis. They always make sure to show how much they love each other but that haven't happened recently ever since they found out about the baby. But this, this was what Harry needed.

Harry leaned in to kiss him back, his arms wrapped around Louis who was hovering on top of him.

Louis pulled away far too quickly than Harry wanted. "You know what would look good on you?"

Harry didn't said anything, he was confused on why Louis suddenly asked such question.

Louis smirked. "Panties,"

 

-

Harry was taller than Louis, always been bigger than the older boy. Though he was always the little spoon and Louis had always made him feel safe he never felt so small than he is right now.

They were on the changing room at Victoria's Secret on that same day, Harry's plug was still inside him and he was on his knee with panties he had just put on to try on Louis' order.

Louis' back was pressed against the mirror as he let the boy take his cock inside his mouth. Louis was holding back his moans to make sure no one heard. The shop wasn't crowded, filled with much older woman than their age which Louis was sure doesn't have a social media to tell the world they saw Louis Tomlinson in here.

"Baby, I'm close." Louis groaned, his fingers was pulling on Harry's curls, fucking his throat. At this point Harry wasn't even doing anything, he just let Louis fuck into his mouth, Harry was sure he's going to throw up soon but he tried his best to hold it in. Looking up at Louis with tears falling down off his face in hopes he would go slower.

He started to think his dreams wasn't just a dream but more a sign, and Harry was scared with what's coming after this, he didn't know what gotten into Louis to make him like this.

Louis finished inside his mouth making the younger man swallowed it all, and soon enough they left the shop with 10 new pair of panties purchased.

  
\--

"Lou, I need to tell you something." Harry began as they sat on their dinner table.

Louis hummed in response, one hand on his fork and the other on his phone. His eyes still glued on his phone.

"I've been having dreams- nightmares." Harry admitted, looking down at his meal. "Of the same thing over and over again, where you-"

That caught Louis' attention, he looked up at his boyfriend, letting him continue. "Where you, r-raped me, on our sofa."

Louis didn't said anything, He knows there's more Harry was going to say. "And it felt so real, and I'm scared, Lou- I'm scared because-"

That's when Harry broke down, crying. He felt so stupid for saying these stuff. "W-what you did to me today, it felt like that."

"I didn't even fuck you today," Louis pointed out, scoffing.

Harry looked up to him, tears still rolling down his cheek. "Lou, I don't like this, I'm scared of this, I want us to be like we were before."

"Then kill your fucking baby," Louis didn't even hesitate to say that. "I gave you a choice and you choose to keep that thing."

"Louis! I can't believe you just said that!" Harry raised his voice. "You're supposed to be supporting me in this! You're my boyfriend-you're not supposed to hurt me at times like this."

"I'm not hurting you!" Louis hit the table, making Harry jumped a little. He hated this, he missed his Louis and this wasn't him. "Whatever you fucking dreamed about- was just a dream! I'd never do that to you and you know that-"

Harry didn't said anything, he just got up and walk away, Louis wasn't pleased with that, he got up and chased after the younger boy, grabbing him by the wrist. "Don't you fucking walk away from me! I gave you a home for you and your fucking baby and this is how you repay me-"

That's when he felt it. Louis' cold hand collided with his cheek. It was again, a hard slap, Harry winced at the pain but didn't said anything.

"All I want is for you to be fucking good to me, why is that so hard?" Louis sighed. "I won't hurt you- if you'd just listen."

Harry didn't said anything, he can't believe Louis had slapped him again, how can he let this man hurts him once more?

They were standing in front of each other in nothing but silent. "You're not sleeping with me tonight." Was all Louis said before he walked away.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> under going edit for this chapter coz I'm about to leave for work pls excuse all of my mistakes


	4. Chapter 4

"You're not wearing your plug," Louis guessed the next morning where Harry was standing in front of the stove, cooking his bacon in silence.

Harry didn't said anything, he knew Louis was acting as if last night didn't happened. "I have to meet up with the boys and stuff today, you're coming."

"I don't want to," Harry told him quietly, but loud enough for Louis to hear.

"You're coming, that's final." Louis told him. "I have to tell them you're pregnant."

"It's none of their business." Harry debated, he was right but to Louis he was wrong.

Harry was having his baby and he knows his team needs to know about this.

Louis walked over to the boy, standing behind him, pulling down his boxer shorts. "You're fucking coming," and with that and five spanks later, Harry cried, letting his boyfriend dress him up to leave.

\--

They arrived, hand in hand, getting in a meeting room with some of his management team and his band mates was already there. Of course Louis would make everyone wait for him.

"Harry! Hey, long time no see." Zayn smiled, Harry gave him a small smile sitting next to Louis.

Louis looked around the room before speaking up. "I hope you don't mind if Harry's here, we've got some news to tell you."

Louis turned to face Harry who was his head hung low. "Go on, babe, tell them,"

He hated this, why can't Louis tell them instead? He was already embarrassed with the obvious hand print on his cheek. "I-I'm pregnant."

The whole room turned way too quiet for Harry's liking, he slowly looked up to see everyone but Louis starring at him. "You're kidding,right?" Niall laughed which made Harry felt even worse.

This was going to be a long day.

The meeting ended at 4, Harry found out they'll be recording their new album in America and Harry had made it clear to Louis he's not going to America with him.

And about his pregnancy, they told him to hide it for awhile and Harry had to sign some contract to not tell anyone.

Louis felt bad when he saw Harry's frowned, he knew Harry wanted everyone to know he's pregnant with Louis' baby. "Harry," Louis took his hand, they were in the hallway about to go back home waiting for his bodyguard to park their car closer to the exit door. "I'm sorry,"

Harry was surprised to hear that. Out of all the things Harry thought he was going to say, he was actually apologizing. "Before I leave to America, we can go on a vacation if you want, what do you think of Paris?"

Harry couldn't believe his ears.

He didn't said anything though, he was scared with what Louis going to react if he said something that might came out wrong. "Hey, are you okay?"

Harry nodded. "I'd love to go to Paris,"

Louis smiled, kissing his forehead. Why is Louis suddenly being nice to him again?

"I love you,"

\--

  
Harry was in their little studio in the penthouse, one of Harry's hobby was writing songs and he had wrote quite a lot for Louis and his band, Harry had told him he loves writing and music in general but he doesn't want to make it his job and Louis let him do whatever the fuck he please and that's studying fashion.

Next to their music studio was Harry's fashion studio where he designed his clothes for all his assignments and stuff, Harry didn't go in there often unless its for school, he rather spends his time in their little music studio.

"Babe, I'm ordering pizza, do you want anything." Louis walked in the room to find Harry sitting down with his guitar around his arms, strumming into something.

Harry shakes his head, no. Continue to strum to the song Louis hasn't heard before. "A new song?" He asked, sitting next to Harry.

He nodded, handing a piece of paper to Louis. "This one would fit your album,"

"Thank you," Louis said, reading the paper he's holding. "What do you want for dinner, love?"

Harry shrugged, he wasn't that hungry and he was having a great time on their studio.

Louis thought though, he was having a bad mood because of what he had to signed earlier and what happened last night. Louis admitted, he was a big jerk for doing what he did. He didn't regretted spanking his boy this morning though. that; he deserved.

"I'm sorry I slapped you," Louis apologized, Harry stopped his guitar, looking over at Louis who's eyes was full of regrets. "I've been nothing but an asshole to you,"

Harry stayed silent, slowly leaning over to kiss Louis on the lips. The boy kissed back, sitting closer to Harry.

That's  how their night ended, they even forgot to have dinner when Louis was balls deep inside of Harry in their studio with Harry's legs spread apart taking what Louis has to offer.

"Right there, Lou." Harry moaned letting the man hit his spot repeatedly. "Oh! Fuck!"

Louis, being his usual self; started to go faster without Harry's order, he needed to come and he won't come at this pace, that's when he decided to go faster.

"Lou- slow down." Harry told him, a flashback of his dream appeared in his head, this time, less blurry than any of his dreams. "Louis, no- no, stop, please."

Louis furrowed his brows, looking down at the boy who was now crying begging him to stop. "Fuck, but I'm close-"

"You're hurting me," Harry cried, he hated this, Louis wasnt like this before. Or ever. "Louis, please."

Louis didn't listen to him, he was too focused on reaching his orgasm which is soon. He can feel it. "I'm close, Harry, I'll be done soon."

"Just go slower- ah!" Of course Louis would twist his nipple to get him to shut up.

"I said I'm close, will you just shut up and take it." Louis growled, going even faster. "Fuck-fuck, so tight."

Harry couldn't said anything by now, he was ruined, mentally and physically and he just let Louis do whatever he wants to him, letting the man came inside him.

\--

Harry left for class two hours earlier, he left before Louis even woke up, he didn't want to see Louis after last night and he's not even sure if he wants to come home after last night.

He couldn't even focus on his classes with the pain he's getting from his ass and he was having a migraine just by overthinking about it.

"Sarah, can I stay over tonight?" Harry asked as the two walked over to the small cafe across their school.

Sarah sighed. "I'm sorry, I'm staying at Clare's tonight." She was referring to her girlfriend of 7 months, Clare. "Is there something wrong?"

Harry shakes his head, no, faking a smile, he didn't want to tell Sarah about what happened last night. He was embarrassed over it and he was scared to see Louis.

Since he had nowhere to go, he made it back home at 8, the whole penthouse was quiet, almost like no ones home but Louis' coat was there and Harry knew he's somewhere around.

That's when he spot his boyfriend in the balcony having a drag of his cigarette. Usually Harry would followed out and company him, but he doesn't want smoke near his baby and he wasn't in his right place to see the man who hurt him.

_I need to leave. I need to leave._

Harry had thought about leaving, but then he remembered he doesn't have anywhere to go, no job to rely on and he was scared to see his family at this state. He can't leave.

He walked in their shared room to see suitcases opened and half full with not just Louis' clothes, but Harry's also. Louis had packed for their Paris trip and Harry wasn't even sure if he still wants to go.

"Didn't hear you come in," he was startled by Louis' voice behind him, turning around to face the older man. "I have to leave earlier than expected, so, Paris tomorrow?"

Harry shakes his head, no. "I can't- let's just cancel Paris, yeah?"

"Is this about last night?" Louis guessed and damn was he right. He knew and realized what he did and he didn't even stopped until he came.

"I don't want to talk about it," Harry cringe at the thought of it. He couldn't believe Louis has the guts to bring it up.

"I'm sorry, Harry-"

"Stop apologizing, I'm tired of it." Harry admitted. But Louis wasn't going to give up he can't have Harry sad and upset like this.

Louis took both of Harry's hands on his, the smell of cigarettes still linger on him. "I'm sorry, Harry, I really am- I've been treating you like shit and I'm really sorry-"

"I don't want to go to Paris, Louis." Harry was ignoring Louis' words. Louis sighed, he knew this was going to happened, why did his idiotic self let him do this to his boyfriend of 3 years?

Harry jerked Louis' hands away, turning around and into their en suite.

Louis left their bedroom and let Harry sleep in peace, he snuck next to him when Harry was asleep, little did he know, Harry was in fact still awake, still thinking over what happened and to have this man lying next to him scares Harry more than anything.

Louis. How did he turned like this? His sweet loving Louis. This is not how he remembered the boy.

Harry got up, he knows Louis wasn't going to try and do anything but Harry didn't felt safe to sleep with the man, he sat up from the bed about to leave when he heard Louis' voice calling for him.

"Harry,"

"I need to pee," he lied, he didn't heard anything then, he turned around to see Louis was asleep.

He furrowed his brows, turning back again and leaving their shared room. 


	5. Chapter 5

Louis woke up to an empty bed, he knew Harry's going to move out of the room in the middle of the night. But today, they're leaving for Paris and Louis isn't going to make him cancel that.

"Harry?" He left the room, looking around the huge penthouse to find his boyfriend asleep on the couch with nothing but a small blanket around him.

He was that scared to sleep with Louis he rather sleep on their couch with a thin blanket. "Harry, our plane'a leaving in 3 hours, we got to get ready."

He groaned, eyes still shut until he felt Louis' palms against his arms, rubbing it up and down softly.

He opened his eyes, looking up at Louis who has a smile crawled up his face when he saw Harry awake.

"We aren't missing Paris,"

"I have school," Harry pointed out, still half asleep.

"It's just two days." Louis argued. 

 

\--

  
Before he knows it he was on the next plane to Paris. The plane ride was exhausting but Harry slept the whole ride since that was. better than making conversations with Louis.

The news that Louis Tomlinson landed in Paris was quick to spread and the airport was already filled with fans, making it so hard to pass through to get in the car Louis has rented in preparation. 

They didn't even visit anywhere, they just went straight to the hotel and Harry hated how vacations always turned out like this. But Harry didn't even thought about it this time, he was nothing but scared to be in a hotel room with Louis and Louis only.

"Is there anywhere you want to have dinner at?" Louis asked, Harry was on the sofa rubbing his stomach that was growing with their baby inside. "Oops, almost forgot."

Louis went over to one of their suitcases, taking out something and walking back to Harry.

Harry looked up with widen eyes to see the butt plug Louis had purchased online. "No, Louis-"

"Harry, we agreed on this." Louis sighed, Harry stood up from the sofa, backing away from Louis.

Harry thought Louis had gotten over that but he guessed he was wrong. "We're on vacation, Louis."

Louis chuckled. "That got nothing to do-"

"Louis, I said no." Harry raised his voice a little. "I don't want this, please don't make me do this."

"We agreed-"

"No, okay,I gave up, I'll leave." Harry said out loud. "I'll leave our- your house, I'll leave you alone, we-we're over."

Louis stands there, silently, the plug on his hand dropped on the ground, he couldn't believe Harry was breaking up with him.

Harry didn't know if he should walk away now or wait till Louis said anything, he was scared of Louis, there was no denying that, he was getting more stressed day by day and he didn't want to live with that anymore.

"Good luck with that then," Louis didn't said anything else, he left their hotel suite, Harry didn't know where he was heading but Harry didn't want to think about that now.

He lied on the hotel bed, spending the entire night crying himself to sleep. He wasn't sure why he was crying, is it cause Louis and Him are over ? Is it cause he knows deep down he still loves Louis? Is it cause he won't get to see Louis again ? Is it cause he still thinks of what Louis did? Or is it because he was scared Louis might returned and hurt him?

Luckily for him, Louis had gave him his tickets back home since Louis was leaving to America and Harry had to go back to London.

So the next day he spent his entire day on the street of Paris, waiting for Louis to call or search websites through websites of where Louis might be seen. He knew Louis was still there in Paris, there were pictures, pictures of him going in a hotel and leaving it, it wasn't at the hotel they were staying at.

In all honesty, he was surprised Louis didn't came back for him or even leave a text.

_Woke up alone in this hotel room  
Played with myself, where were you? Fell back to sleep, I got drunk by noon I've never felt less cool._

  
That same night Harry had to go back home to London with his ticket, he didn't know where he should go when he's back in London.

Sarah's flat was more of a studio, it was too small for both of them. And even that she was spending more time at Clare's than at her own flat.

His mum lives outside of London, he can't stay with her and still go to school it'll be too tiring. He didn't know where he should go and he was pregnant and scared.

So when the plane landed he went back to their penthouse, he figured since Louis won't be here he can stay here for a week or two until he found a place, besides, he needed to pack his stuff.

  
\--

  
It's been a week and Louis still hasn't message him, Harry didn't know why he was expecting Louis to, for all he knows Louis' having the time of his life in America with his band mates and everyone else around him.

Sarah had helped Harry moved out to a small flat near campus, it was way smaller than their penthouse of course, but Harry thinks it'll be fine for the baby and him till he can get a part time job.

The place wasn't pretty at all, the neighbors was loud and the landlord comes over once a week to collect rent money, Harry was sure they're all students from his UNI. It wasn't pretty but at least he's free of Louis.

Speaking of Louis though, he missed him, he didn't know why he was missing the man who hurt him repeatedly, but he need to know how Louis was doing and news and articles online wasn't enough.

Two weeks later, Harry was all settled in, leaving his shared house with Louis behind. He didn't leave a note or anything, he took one of his favorite shirt that belonged to Louis, he wasn't going to- but he felt the need to keep it for him.

"Is it okay if I leave before dinner?" Sarah asked. "I have plans with Clare- which, I can cancel if you need me."

Harry gave her a soft smile. "I'll be fine, thank you, have fun with Clare."

Sarah gave him a tight hug, she's always a little worry about him after since the pregnancy. Harry hasn't even call or message his own mother since he found out he was pregnant.

That's how scared he is with everything's going on. And once again he was left all alone with just his growing baby in his stomach.

Harry knew he was gaining weight but the bump wasn't visible for anyone to suspect anything yet- not that anyone will, he's a man they'll just assume he's gaining weight.

Harry was working on a suit he designed when his stomach started grumbling. He sighed, leaving his small flat to get something to eat.

He stopped for ramen in a nearby shop where mostly all the UNI students are at, the place was crowded and Harry hated it, especially the girls a few tables away who was starring at Harry who was standing in line.

Harry tried not to stare back, keeping his eyes down on the phone but before he knew it.

"Aren't you Harry Styles?" One of the girl that was starring at him was standing next to him in line.

Harry nodded, smiling a little, they must have seen him around school or heard of him since he was pretty popular for his designs.

"Oh my god! I'm a huge fan of Louis!"

Of course.

Harry's small smile dropped from his face at the mention of Louis' name. He watched as she pulled out her phone and said. "Is it okay if I have a picture, please?"

Who could say no to that, Harry was too nice and he hoped a little that this picture will spread across social medias and Louis might see.

"Yes, of course." The minute the girl took a picture of them together, there was a sound of someone screaming hysterically then followed by a couple more screams and suddenly the main door was crowded with everyone from the table and in line.

Harry furrowed his brows, he was the only one who hasn't moved from where he's standing and so does the girl next to him.

They looked at each other, both were really confused until the girl's friend called for her. "Meg! Its Zayn! He's here, what the fuck!"

He heard the girl next to him, which he assumed was named Meg; screamed, running towards her friend and into the crowd.

Zayn?! What was he doing in a ramen shop this little and cheap? the crowd though, was pushed aside as his bodyguards went through.

"Harry, come with me!" Zayn called, everyone was starring at him now. He didn't have much choice but to approach Zayn as the bodyguards made way for the two boys to get out of the crowd and into Zayn's car.

Harry stayed quite until the crowd wasn't banging on their windows anymore. "Zayn, aren't you supposed to be in America?"

"We got back last night," Zayn informed him. "There was an argument between our management and the recording label and they put us out till they work out their conflict."

Does that means Louis was back in their penthouse? No, he can't think of Louis right now. "How'd you found me?"

"I saw you walking down the street and had a debate with my boys," he was referring to his bodyguard and his driver who both sat on the front seat. "If we should rescue you or not- I can't imagine Harry Styles eating there, we had to do something!"

Harry laughed along with Zayn, how is he being so nice to him? He's sure Zayn knew Louis and him broke up and shouldn't he be on Louis' side instead of hanging out with him.

"Well, would you look at that !" Zayn gave Harry his phone. "That was fast, look at these pictures, Louis' going to be so pissed!"

Harry looked at the pictures of him and Zayn being escorted out from the small shop with the crowd around them before handing Zayn his phone back. He frowned at the mention of _his_ name. "He won't be pissed, trust me."

"He will," Zayn smirked. "But how are you, Harry? How's the baby?"

Harry smiled, looking down at his stomach, not a lot of people know about the baby and Zayn was one of the people who knew and it made him happy that Zayn cares enough to ask. "I'm fine, I guess, the baby's alright too. The doctor told me not to stress a lot and- I'm trying not to stress but I have so much thing going on at school."

"Yeah, you shouldn't stress, babe, you don't want your baby hurting or anything." Zayn told him. "How do you feel about pasta? I know a good Italian restaurant nearby."

Harry nodded, he wasn't going to complain with whatever Zayn had to take him. He was hungry and would eat anything Zayn offered.

The drive wasn't awkward or quiet, Zayn was keeping him entertained with his jokes and stories about America, Zayn tried not to mention Louis and he would refer him to 'one of the boys I can't remember' but it was obviously Louis every time he said it cause he would mention about Niall and Liam as well.

Harry was laughing from the stories, they were interrupted with the sound of Zayn'a ringtone.

Zayn looked down at his phone to see who's calling, smirking at the name that appeared on his screen.

"Hey, what's up?" He answered, casually mouthing a "one second" to Harry. "Yeah- I'm actually still with him right now."

He knew they were talking about Harry and suddenly it scares Harry that it was Louis. He didn't know why he was scared if its Louis, he shouldn't be, its not like they're together anymore and even if they were Harry have rights to hang out with Louis' friends.

"We're about to dine- you can leave us alone now." Zayn said before hanging up.

"Was that-"

Zayn nodded which made Harry sighed. Louis asking about him made Harry's heart screamed _'he still cares!'_ but why should Harry cares if Louis still cares?

 _I saw your friend that you know from work, He said you feel just fine I see you gave him my old t-shirt  
More of what was once mine_.

The dinner went great, it was fun and they were protected by Zayn's bodyguard and driver who sat with them. This was really nice to Harry because Louis would never invite his bodyguards on the same table when they're out in public, Louis said it's for the paps and that's what the media wanted, the bodyguards didn't mind anyway because they were pretty close to Louis when there were no cameras and they knew Louis had to do what's good for the media.

Though Zayn didn't even give a fuck about the media, maybe because he's literally out with his band mate's ex, or as the media still knows it; his bandmate's boyfriend.

Zayn asked him about school and whatnot, how is he doing with the pregnancy and everything. Harry was glad someone actually cared.

They had a great night and Zayn decided to pay for everything, Harry was glad for that too.

The nice night of course came to an end when Zayn said he had somewhere to be in the morning, Zayn decided to gave Harry a ride home. He said it'll be productive if he knows where Harry live by now. It was just a few blocks away from the ramen shop so Zayn didn't had trouble to remember the small building.

"Thank you for everything," Harry gave the man a friendly hug before exiting the fancy car.

He waved and watched as Zayn's car drove away from him. He took a couple minutes before going up and into his room.

The only thing that kept him awake that night was Zayn's story about Louis, or 'one of the boys I can't remember who' as Zayn would refer him to. The way Zayn mimic Louis made it obvious, and he didn't said anything about Louis being miserable or sad and that kind of upsets Harry. But Louis called Zayn tonight and asked about him!

Harry would be lying if he said he doesn't miss the father of his baby, he misses Louis more than the times Louis went away on tour- cause this time, he wasn't going to see Louis again and he was scared of that.

He was scared of both seeing Louis and not seeing Louis again. 


	6. Chapter 6

"We haven't spoke since you went away, Comfortable silence is so overrated-" Harry was singing to himself with his guitar till the sound of the door knocking interrupted him.

He sighed, getting up from his seat on the bed and opened the door, revealing Sarah with a huge grin and two paper bags.

"What are these?" Harry chuckled as Sarah let herself in, putting down the bags on Harry's small kitchen counter that was pretty much connected to his bedroom.

"I'm tired of you moping all day and not even leaving this place, but since you won't leave and can't drink because you're pregnant, we can throw our own party!" Sarah explained. "So, I bought us some snacks and we can watch some movies on your laptop- or we can braid each other hairs and talk about girls! Not boys, we both hate those, but girls!"

Harry's smile grew at that, he was glad to have a friend like Sarah at times like this. "I don't mope all day,"

"Oh, but you do!" Sarah was right. All he does is mope all day, even during classes that's all he fucking do and Sarah was scared he will fail classes. "But don't worry, you'll feel better after tonight!"

  
\--

  
The night was as fun as expected, the two friends was on Harry's bed going through stuff to watch, they've watched two movies so far and somehow that wasn't enough for Harry. "More pickles, please."

"Aren't you glad I bought two jars of these?" Sarah hand him another jar of pickles, Harry couldn't believe he had finished one jar himself. Don't blame him, though, he's pregnant.

"So, what were you doing with Zayn last night?" Sarah asked while Harry's eyes was still glued on his laptop.

Harry shrugged. "He saved me from a long line for ramen." He emphasized the word 'saved' "How did you know about that?"

"Duh, its everywhere, this might surprise you but I'm actually capable of using twitter." She joked making Harry laughed, turning to face her. "And there are articles, do you want to read them?"

Harry shakes his head, no. "The articles only wrote what they saw, I was there to witness the whole thing."

"What whole thing?"

"Louis called Zayn and asked about me,"

Sarah's jaw dropped as her eyes widen. "No way!"

Harry nodded, reassuring her that Louis did. Harry didn't even know why he's still thinking about it. But the thought of going to the doctor tomorrow, alone again, kinda upsets him, he wishes Louis would come with.

But no, he shouldn't be thinking about this- Louis hurt him and he doesn't deserve to be a part of Harry's life anymore.

"I haven't returned our- his keys, should I do that tomorrow?"

Sarah's expression changed, she was now both confused and mad. Harry was going to come back and his excuse is returning the penthouse's key. "Harry, he doesn't need his spare key back, you're making excuses to see him!"

Harry defended himself, shaking his head, no. "I'm not, I just- he might need it, okay fine, I won't go."

Little did Sarah know was when she left at around 4 since she couldn't stay over, Harry was about to leave his flat as well to see Louis.

He knows he shouldn't do this, but there were things left unclear like, is he allowed to tell everyone he's pregnant by now? Since they aren't together anymore it should be fine.

He made it to the huge building, the one he used to live in for so long, made his way to the top floor, he was both nervous and scared.

But, he's here, he can't turned back now. So he knocked on the front door, he was going to knock again when he realized no ones coming to open the door up, but he didn't dare to.

"This is stupid-" he told himself but then he heard footsteps from the other side of the door, he gulped as he watched the knob twisted and the door swung opened revealing Louis.

There he was, once again in front of Harry and not behind Harry's phone screen. He looked good and fine while Harry looked like a mess with his growing stomach, long messy hair and the bags under his eyes were visible.

He wasn't wearing anything but sweatpants, the tattoos across his chest was visible and every little tattoos up and down his arms. Even the little 'oops' of Harry's handwriting was visible.

"Hey," he managed to say, but Louis just stands there, he didn't even said anything or let the boy in.

Harry took his old keys from his jeans pocket, handing it to Louis. "I just thought you needed these."

Louis took it from his hands, but his eyes was focused on Harry's belly that was staring to get visible.

Harry didn't know what else he should say, he just stands there awkwardly waiting for Louis to say anything or to slam the door in front of his face.

"What's the gender?" He finally said, eyes still glued on Harry's stomach.

Harry giggled at that- he shouldn't have but he did. "The baby's only 9 weeks old, Louis, the doctor said he'll be able to tell at week 15."

Well how the fuck does Louis supposed to know these stuff. "I'll be informed, won't I?"

Harry was surprised that Louis wanted to know the gender. "Of course, if you want me to- I have a doctor appointment tomorrow, if you want to come with, we can meet up there?"

"I'm busy," was all Louis said before slamming the door in Harry's face.

Well, that was unexpected.

Harry frowned and stood there for a couple more seconds before leaving the building.

'I'm so stupid, why am I so fucking stupid?' Harry thought as tears rolled down his cheeks. 'Why did I thought he would want to see me?!'

He couldn't believe he decided to even come to see him, he knew, he fucking knew Louis wasn't going to be happy about it and yet, he still wasted his time on showing up.

  
\---

  
So the next morning, Harry was sat on the waiting room of his usual check up clinic, waiting for his name to be called. He had his eyes on his phone the entire time because he didn't want to make any eye contact with anyone here, they were already starring at him for being the only man without a woman in this room.

Harry didn't have a lot of people texting him at this hour, so he did what he shouldn't and look at the latest Louis' updates.

He couldn't believe what he saw. What he missed last night, it was probably after he left the penthouse that this happened.

Louis was out. For the first time since they arrived back in England.

He wasn't alone though, he was with a girl, holding her hand on his and a few pictures caught them kissing in public or at the club they were at.

Tears started to build up on Harry's face. Louis was already moved on from their 3 years relationship while Harry was still here trying to get information on how Louis is doing and carrying his baby.

His eyes scanned from articles to articles. Maybe they're just friends, Harry wanted to believe even though those kissing pictures didn't look friendly at all.

He figured the girl was one of England's super model, as a fashion student he knows quite a lot of models since his dreams was to have these models wear his designs. Though, she wasn't familiar to Harry.

Eleanor Calder was her name, tall and pretty, and she was all of Louis' types. Harry shouldn't care, he really shouldn't, its not like Louis' cheating on him or anything. So why is he crying in the middle of the clinic's waiting room.

"Harry Styles?" One of the nurses calls, Harry looked up wiping the tears on his thumb, forcing a smile up his face as he stood up and followed they nurse inside.

  
\--

  
Harry was sat alone in his flat once again, the doctor appointment went well and the baby's doing healthy and okay, though Harry wasn't in happiest mood since all he can think of was Louis. Louis. Louis. Louis.

He was just waiting for that one phone call from Louis that he knows never going to happened. He just wanted Louis to care a little, maybe not even about him but about their baby. And Louis only wanting to know the gender wasn't enough, Louis knew Harry's doctor appointment was today and Harry prayed that he would call and asked how it went.

 _Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry, too_  
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry, too  
Maybe one day you'll call me and tell me that you're sorry, too  
But you, you never do

But he never did called. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment on how you think of the fic so far I'm anxious ha :)))


	7. Chapter 7

_"Louis, slow down."_

_"It hurts, Lou."_

_"Louis, stop!"_ Harry jerked up from his tiny bed, looking around the room.

Just another dream.

Why did these night terrors decided to came back after doing so well without them?

He was sweating so much just from the dream and he couldn't be happier to wake up in this tiny flat and not the sofa of they once was shared penthouse.

But of course, he couldn't go back to sleep now, he glance at the clock on his nightstand to see that it's almost six in the morning. Might as well get up early since he has early classes today.

He took his phone from his nightstand, reading through group messages that he had missed, reply texts he hasn't got the chance to reply last night. And saw that his sister, Gemma, had texted her.

She sent a picture and 'what the fuck is this true?!!!' And Harry had to load the picture to see what Gemma was talking about.

It was a screenshot of an article with two pictures, one of him and Zayn and the other was Louis and Eleanor.

He zoomed in so he could read the article a little better. He didn't know if he should laugh or cry at the article.

'Is former boyfriend, Harry Styles seeks revenge on Louis Tomlinson by going out with his bandmate? From the looks of Louis and Eleanor Calder the two seemed more than just friends, does this mean the lead singer of one direction has officially broken up with (ex) boyfriend Harry Styles? Was he not happy about it that he decided to rub his face against Louis' best slash bandmate ?'

Well.

The rest was cropped out of the picture but Harry didn't need to know more.

He replied with. 'I wasn't seeking revenge. It was just dinner. Yes, we broke up.'

Gemma didn't texted him quite often and Harry felt bad that Gemma had to find out about this on news and articles instead of from Harry himself.

He go on twitter to see more news on Louis and Eleanor or if more got something to do with his dinner with Zayn.

There were more and they all made Harry sounds like the bad guy in every single article.

"Will Harry Styles break up the rising band with his charm and good looks?"

"Did Harry Styles cheated on lead singer Louis Tomlinson to be with the bass player Zayn Malik?"

"Heartbroken UNI student took advantage on ex boyfriend's band mate?"

Harry hated all of this, especially the tweets from all of their fans. Why were they doing this they don't even know Harry or the boys personally.

It took him a few more minutes until he decided; He was no longer Louis' boyfriend, whatever contract he signed shouldn't matter to him anymore. So what's wrong with letting the world know he was pregnant?

He go on Instagram, his account has always been private since he didn't want Louis' fans to follow him and send rude comments on his pictures. But now, Louis wasn't a part of his life anymore so he took his Instagram off private, watching the thousands of requests he got to follow him automatically, his notifications was full of random people finally gets to follow him.

He stopped refreshing when he realized its endless. That's when he decided to post something.

He took a picture of his small bump a few days ago, time to release it to the public.

He captioned it "9 weeks and still counting.❤️" he didn't hesitate to post it and watched as his notifications blown with likes and comments he didn't feel like going through those comments now.

It was 9:30 when Harry woke up again he didn't realized he fell back asleep. He had missed his first class. Oh well.

He took his phone to see over 50 missed calls. He was glad he left his phone on silent.

There were 12 from Gemma, 27 from his mum (of course), there were also from Sarah, his phone says 11. And then there he saw it.

three missed calls from Louis.

God, he wasn't that glad now that he had his phone on silent !

There were also a lot of texts, mostly from his mum and Gemma. And a lot of his school friends, most of them says "r u rlly pregnant?????!!'

He ignored them all when he saw a text from Louis.

His contact name was still Louis with two hearts at the end. The message was simple yet Harry was scared just to read the text.

"Call me back immediately"

He wasn't going to call Louis back, he was now just really scared because he knows Louis will make Harry take down the picture he posted.

So he ignored Louis' texts and got up from the bed, he couldn't miss another class today.

The day went by with everyone starring at him in the hallway of the campus and in classes and during breaks. Sarah had asked him why he posted that and Harry explained on why it shouldn't be a problem for Louis' career anymore.

His last class ended at 3, thank God UNI was over for the day, he needed some more naps and he thinks the pregnancy is making him more sleepy, if that's possible.

The minute he left his building and says his goodbyes to Sarah, watching her get in the passenger seat in Clare's car, he waved and watched till the car was out of sight.

Then that's when he felt a palm on his shoulder, he turned around to the familiar face. "Alberto?"

He smiled. "Hey, someone asked me to pick you up."

Of course it would be Louis.

He was going to refuse but Alberto was already leading him towards Louis' car, opening the backseat and let Harry in.

Harry climbed in the car to see Louis, eyes on the window, he's not turning around and now Harry felt nothing but scared even though his driver was there and Alberto was already on the front seat as the car drove away.

"Uh-Lou?" That's when Louis turned to face him, taking off his sunglasses. His eyes was full of anger and he was already glaring at Harry.

Harry didn't dare to say anything else after that. He looked away from Louis watching the car drive away and soon enough they pulled over the familiar building of Louis' penthouse.

Alberto guards the two as they entered the building and into the elevator, no one tried to broke the silence as they made it to the top floor, Louis unlocking the door and Harry was lead in by Alberto.

"I'll see you later," he told Alberto as he nodded and leave the house, closing the door behind him.

Now he was just alone with Louis and he's terrified of what's going to happen. He rub his stomach for comfort, he didn't want his baby to be scared as well.

Harry hasn't been in here for a month and the place hasn't changed a bit, of course Louis wouldn't waste his time on redecorating, all he noticed was the picture of him and Louis that was hanged on the wall was gone and so does their picture together by the small table by their coat hanger Harry had put there for their mails.

"You broke the contract, Harry." Louis took off his sunglasses once more, turning to face Harry with anger in his eyes.

Harry shakes his head, no. "It shouldn't matter anymore, this got nothing to do with you and your band anymore."

"Of course it still does!" Louis threw the sunglasses across the room, walking closer to where Harry was standing. "Everyone knows you- for my fucking ex boyfriend and suddenly you're pregnant for two fucking months!"

Harry didn't said anything, he just let Louis screamed at him. He didn't want to said anything wrong. At least not yet. "Take the fucking picture down and said you were hacked or something."

"No, the picture's staying." Harry announced, Louis took a deep breath, why was he arguing with Harry again? He didn't have time for this.

"Should I do it for you- I could tell Instagram you're a fake account and get your whole account deleted-"

"You're not going to do that cause my posts are not your concern!" Harry raised his voice, cutting Louis and his dumb Instagram policy explanation. "This shouldn't bother you! It won't hurt your fucking career!"

Louis gritted his teeth, he was getting impatient with his ex boyfriend. "You know,  Harry, my team was going to pick you up today and do this for me- I was nice enough not to make them do that and say I'll talk it out with you, so yes, it'll effect my career cause if it didn't my team won't fucking give a fuck about what you posted!"

"It's staying," Harry confirmed, he was about to turned around and leave when Louis caught his wrist, pulling him closer to Louis.

Harry tried to shake Louis' hand off of him but Louis won't budge. "Let go!"

"What do you want from me? Why are you doing this?" Louis asked, calmly even wth Harry struggling to get his hands off. "You know damn well this will destroy my band, my fucking job-"

Harry stopped struggling, tears was now build in eyes, he hated it when Louis acts like this. Whenever he put his job ahead of his baby.

Louis looked Harry right in the eyes, Harry stares back with tears falling from his. "I just don't want to hide our-my baby, I never did and I had to- because of your fucking job and I'm out of your life now, right? This shouldn't be a problem to you, Louis."

"Our baby," Louis corrected him, what?! Harry couldn't believe what he's hearing. "Our baby, Harry, you're acting as if you made the baby yourself."

Harry didn't said anything, he was still trying to get Louis' hand off of him. How is Louis even stronger than him?

"Will you listen to me?!" Louis took Harry's other hand from him, trying to make him stop moving. "Listen, Harry, we aren't going to hide this baby forever but for now-"

"It's not your choice to make! Let go of me!" Harry screamed, still trying to get out of Louis' grip. "I'm not deleting the post, I'm not going to listen to you or your fucking management team anymore!"

Louis ignored him, still trying to make Harry stop struggling out of him. "You're gonna hurt yourself, you need to calm down."

He said it so calmly as if he hasn't done anything wrong. How is Harry supposed to calm down when he's near Louis?

"We recorded your song," Louis said, out of then sudden, that was what made Harry stop struggling and looked at Louis with furrowed brows. "Remember? The one you gave to me and said I'll sound good for the song."

"Happily," Harry remembered, he couldn't believe Louis decided to even record the song, Harry had completely forgot he gave the song to Louis.

Louis nodded. "Do you want to listen?"

He do, he really want to hear Louis' voice singing the song. He wrote it not just for him to sing, but the song itself was about him and he hoped Louis knew it was for him.

But he isn't going to stay here alone with Louis, he doesn't have the courage to stay here any longer.

  
"Louis, I have to go," he said, once again trying to get out of Louis' grip. "Please let go,"

"I'll let go, but you'll sit with me, listen to the song and listen to me, okay?" Louis was very calm, he never saw Louis this calm.

Harry sighed, glancing at the clock as if there's somewhere he needed to be. "Not here- I don't want to be alone with you."

"I'm not gonna hurt you, Harry." Louis promised, one hand letting go of Harry's wrists as it crawled up Harry's face, wiping the dry tears. "Sit down, babe, go on."

He let go of Harry, Harry rubbed his wrists, glaring at Louis as he made his way towards their sofa. Just sitting there have him thinking about his dream.

He sat there for about two minutes until he realized Louis was not following him, instead Louis was nowhere near him, he looked around and hear Louis' voice from the kitchen. He quickly got up and followed the sound of Louis' voice.

He stopped by the doorframe to see Louis with a phone against his ear, his back was facing Harry so he didn't notice Harry was there.

"Yeah, he's still here with me." Louis spoke so softly and Harry knew whoever was on the other line was talking about Harry since Harry was the only one in here with Louis. "Fuck, if that's what you want then-"

Louis turned around, eyes widen when he saw Harry. "I'll call you back,"

"What do they want from me?!" Harry asked, walking in the kitchen. He wasn't sure but he guessed it was his management team and Harry hated his team.

Louis sighed, sitting on the dining chair, sliding the chair next to him, patting it so Harry would sit down.

And Harry did; dammit, that's a habit Harry needs to break, he can't just kept listening to what Louis order him to do.

"They don't want you to delete the picture, the fans- they loved it." He explained. "They were wrong about them freaking out, they loved it and.."

"And I'm free to go!" Harry stood up just to be taken by the wrist again as Louis tug him down to sit down again.

"Not entirely," Louis didn't know how he supposed to ask Harry this. He knew Harry was going to say no to what the management had told Louis to do. "They want us to- to act as if we're s-still together."

  
Harry opened his mouth to protest but before he had the chance to, Louis quickly shut him up by cutting him off. "I know, it sounds dumb, but please see it this way, I'm doing this not to safe my career or the band, I'm doing this because I want the- our baby, to have a bright future and a great childhood and I can't give them that if I don't have this job."

Harry thought of it. What Louis said really got to him, but there was no way he can move back in with him.

Can he?

 


	8. Chapter 8

Harry denied a couple times, but Louis won't let him leave until he agreed for this. Louis can't loose everything especially when his band was on top of everything right now, he can't risk it and he was willing to do anything the management thinks is right.

"Will you at least let me think about it?" Harry groaned, he was once again have his wrists held by Louis so he won't try and leave.

He was right. Louis wasn't giving him time. "Yes, please think about it."

"Thank you, can I leave now?"

"You can stay the night." Louis offered as if Harry won't be scared to sleep under the same roof with him.

Harry shakes his head, no, fear could be seen through his eyes. He was still nothing but scared towards this man.

"I'll drive you home." Louis insisted.

"I know my way back,"

"I'll drive you home," Louis repeated himself letting go of one of Harry's wrist as they got up from the dining chairs.

The whole elevator ride down to the lobby, Louis had his fingers wrapped around Harry's wrist, Harry felt like he was held hostage.

Louis didn't even call his driver nor Alberto, he was going to drive Harry home on his own without guards and Harry was now even more scared to know he'll be alone with Louis in his car.

The car ride was silent as Harry showed him the way, they stopped in front of Harry's small building when Harry told him that's where they'll be stopping.

Louis didn't unlock the door, he stares at the building before him turning to face Harry, he didn't looked at him with disgust or anger, he looked at him with empathy and guilt. "This is where you want to raise our baby?"

Harry didn't said anything, Louis said it as if Harry had a choice to live in a better place. He was annoyed by it but he didn't want to fight with Louis anymore, he was tired.

"Babe- Harry?" Louis called as he watched Harry unbuckle his seatbelt. "Please think about this."

Louis didn't think as he leaned in with open arms about to give Harry a hug but Harry backed away, stoping Louis by pushing him away slightly by the chest. "Don't."

"It's just a hug-"

"I said don't," Harry sighed and unlock the door by his side, leaving the car and he didn't wait for Louis to drive away, he just went up to his room and quickly locked the door in case Louis thought about chasing after him and got him alone in his room.

  
\--

Harry woke up once again late for a class or two, he didn't even feel like school today he thought of maybe just skipping the whole day.

He spend the day locked up in his flat, watching romantic comedies on Netflix and stuffing his mouth with another jar of pickles.

It was in the middle of the movie when Harry's phone rang.

'Louis❤️❤️' was what the caller id says. He didn't want to answer, he really don't, and Louis should've known that Harry was in class at this hour even though he wasn't but he usually was.

But Harry did anyway. "Hello?"

"Do you want anything for lunch?" Louis said on the other end of the line. "I'm at McDonald's if you want anything."

"You're not at McDonald's, you have Alberto at McDonald's for you." Harry knows him way too well by now.

He heard Louis laughed on the other line, it's been so long since he heard the man's laugh. He missed it. "I'm at McDonald's parking lot waiting for Alberto, you're not quite right."

"I don't want anything, I've eaten." That was partly a lie. The only thing he ate today was the jar of pickles he's still stuffing in his mouth as they speak.

But he didn't want Louis to come and drop of food for him, he didn't need that. Especially not from Louis. "A Big Mac it is!" Louis announced. "So, why aren't you in school?"

Harry wanted to hang up so bad, it's none of Louis' business why he was in school or not. "Didn't feel well,"

Louis was silent for a couple of seconds until Harry heard him sigh through the phone. "Do you want me to pick up some meds-"

"You don't have to, Louis. I can take care of myself." Harry rolled his eyes as if Louis could see him rolling his eyes. "I have to go,"

  
With that Harry hung up and continues on his movie. Louis didn't give a fuck about him and now he's suddenly so caring just because his career is at risk. Harry didn't know why he still have feelings for this man- feelings?! Does Harry still feel something for Louis?! He shouldn't be, Louis had hurt him and he didn't want Louis near him ever again.

His great day was interrupted when someone knocked on his door 20 minutes after Louis called.

He got up to open the door, revealing a Louis with McDonald's paper bags on his arms.

"Louis-"

Now he regretted letting Louis drive him home and finding out where he lives. Louis isn't going to leave him alone now.

Louis didn't even need permission to get in, he let himself in, looking around the small room to find place for the bags.

He saw the small counter table and dropped them there, Harry didn't want to close the door, he let it open as he walks closer to Louis.

Louis smiled, his palms made his way to Harry's stomach. "My baby must be hungry, isn't he?"

"Don't assume the baby's gender!" Harry backed away, he didn't want Louis' hands on him.

Louis gave him a grin, taking out the food from the bags. "Well, I hope he's a boy,"

The smell of the burgers was crazily good and Harry couldn't resist them even though he didn't want what Louis had bought him. But Louis was already handing Harry his Big Mac and Harry couldn't resist.

They ate in silence on the bar stool by the counter, Louis only ate three of his nuggets before Harry finished his Big Mac and asked if he's going to finish those McNuggets.

Louis didn't answer and just let Harry finished his McNuggets.

Harry was eating strangely a lot and Louis knew it must be the pregnancy. "Have you consider it yet?" He decided to asked, Harry looked up at him, tearing his eyes off of the McNuggets sauces.

"I'm- I really don't think we should live together." Harry admitted.

Louis sighed, he knew Harry wouldn't want to live with him again. But Louis wasn't going to quit until he gets what he wants.

He needed Harry, not just for his career, he actually really missed Harry and want nothing more but to be near him again. He missed Harry's cooking, Harry's obnoxious laugh, Harry's body lying besides him, he even missed Harry's unfunny jokes and it was his own fault Harry wanted nothing but to stay away from him now.

"I promise, Harry, I won't even touch you- you can have our room, I'll move in the guest room and you can lock your door." Louis suggested. "I don't want you and our baby to live here, it's not right for you or a baby to be here, it's too small-"

"Stop it!" Harry didn't know why but he was starting to cry again. Why must Louis made him cry every fucking day of his life?!

Louis didn't said a word for a few minutes, and Harry just sat there, letting his tears roll down his cheeks.

He shouldn't, he really shouldn't, but he leaned in, his thumb started to make its way to wipe Harry's tears. Thank God Harry didn't try and push him away this time.

Harry look over at Louis again, tears was still falling from his face. Louis felt bad for everything he did, he was the reason Harry was this miserable.

Louis' other hand made his way to rest against Harry's bump, rubbing it softly. "I'll take good care of him, I promise it's not just for the sake of my career, it's for him, f-for us."

 

So, the next thing Harry knew he was packing his stuff back in his suitcase and Louis had call a relocations crew with a huge grin on his face.

Louis didn't want Harry to carry any of his stuff, he doesn't want Harry to get tired or hurt or anything, Harry wondered why Louis was being too nice, he was acting like his early days when they started going out, he was both scared and suspicious with what would happen but what Louis said really got to him; he's doing this for their baby and the sake of their future.

And now they arrived back in their shared penthouse, Louis immediately lead Harry inside the building while the relocation guys and Alberto took care of his stuff.

"What about Eleanor?" Harry asked when they're inside the lift, he had his arms crossed against his chest, while Louis' eyes was glued on the number in the lift telling them which floor they're at right now.

Louis hummed in response, turning to face Harry who isn't going to repeat himself cause he knows Louis heard him. "It was a one time thing."

Harry's brows furrowed, turning to face Louis. Did he really had a super model as his one night stand?

They arrived at the top floor, Louis let Harry leave the lift first then following behind him.

The two entered the penthouse they shared- and about to share again, Harry's eyes immediately landed on their sofa, the place he had night terrors about.

Then as he walks in the house like its his own, he looked inside the kitchen where Louis had spanked him without him liking it- and then he looked over at their music studio's door, the one room where Louis hurt him and Harry remembered every part of it. Then he looked over at the master bedroom, the one they used to share, the one where he would got up and threw up in the morning and doesn't have Louis following after him ever since Louis found out he was pregnant. This place was a danger to Harry's memory and he started to regret agreeing to move back- but, for the baby.

Louis walks over to Harry, he didn't know what Harry was thinking, so he just pointed at once was their shared room. "I promise you can have our room."

Harry looked over at the door and followed after Louis inside, the room was clean and Harry didn't expect it to be, but the whole house was also clean almost like Louis was expecting Harry all day.

Harry's eyes scanned over the room until he saw it- the plug Louis had forced him to use. It was on the love seat inside their room, Harry's eyes widen at that, backing away which leads Louis' gaze to where Harry was looking at and he sighed, why didn't the house keeping get rid of that?

"I'll get rid of it-"

"I think I rather stay in the guest room," there were no memories of anything there, so Harry would feel more comfortable there.

Louis nodded, agreeing as they left the room and into the guess room. The room was also clean, there were no spot of dusts from Harry's point of view, it was always dusty before because they never cleaned a room no one used.

"Well, I guess we can change your studio into the nursery?" Louis suggested since the guess room was next to his fashion studio, Harry thought that was a great idea but where is his studio going to be at? He needed the place so he won't make a mess in the living room. "We can build a second floor, move both of our studios there since I don't want the music studio near the baby, and we can turn the music studio into a new guest room? What do you say?"

Harry's eyes was dropped open hearing everything Louis said, a few years ago, they had agreed on making a second floor for their studios and turn the studios into the kids' room, they were positive Harry wouldn't be able to get pregnant and they wanted to adopt a twin or two kids.

Hearing Louis wanting to move the studios upstairs was a surprise to Harry since that means he still remembered their talk from a few years ago, and he wanted so bad to lean in and kiss Louis at this moment, saying I love you to him but- no, he can't love Louis still, he had to get over it.

 

The relocation guys arrived and moved Harry's mannequins and sewing machine back inside his studio along with the enormous dresses and suit they had pack for him.

Alberto helped Harry with his clothes and put it inside the closet of the guess room that's now safe to say is Harry's room.

"Do you still threw up in the morning?" Louis asked, he was concerned because the guess room wasn't near from their bathroom and it didn't had a personal en suite, obviously.

Harry shrugged. "It's not a routine anymore but some mornings I feel extra nauseous."

He saw the concerned look in Louis' eyes, Louis actually concerning over Harry was something that haven't happened in so long and he missed this.

"I'll be fine, Louis." He told Louis, turning back to help Alberto unpacked for him. The guess room wasn't as big as the master room, it didn't have a connected bathroom or would fit a sofa. But it was way better than Harry's small flat.

The closet wasn't even as big as the one they used to share, but it was enough for Harry, the bed was comfortable and the sheets was clean and that was enough for Harry rather than staying in his old room.

Once the sun's set and Louis had send everyone home with a huge tip left on their hands, Harry was alone with Louis once more. He was inside his room with the door locked, Louis had moved in their Telly from his room so Harry can have it, he was glad that Louis did that, he needed television.

He heard Louis' voice outside, sounds like he was yelling but he tried not to make a lot of noise. Harry swore he didn't heard anyone entered the house. So, he got up and unlock his door to see Louis in their living room with a phone against his ear, yelling at whoever was on the other line.

"I can't just leave him here again, he needs me-" Louis groaned. "He has school! Why can't we just finish the album here?!"

Harry walked out of his room and walked closer to Louis, Louis turned to face the boy. "Yeah, think about it!" He hung up, throwing his phone on the sofa.

"You're going back to America aren't you?" Harry guessed, Louis sighed, nodding.

Harry wondered why Louis suddenly didn't want to go just because he doesn't want Harry to be left alone. "I'll be fine on my own-"

"No, I'm staying here with you, you need me more than the fucking band does." Louis pointed out. He swore he never heard Louis said this the whole time they were together, Louis was always putting the band ahead of everything, even Harry.

But Harry knew he felt safer if Louis wasn't here. "Louis, you're overreacting, I'll be fine, I can call you anytime."

Louis didn't said anything, he had a debate with himself if he should stay or go, it's just for a little while and they're about to finish the album anyway. All good, right?

But he can't leave Harry alone here with the baby, what if he needed something in the middle of the night?

By the time morning came, Harry was in the kitchen making breakfast for himself, he debated if he should make breakfast for Louis but he didn't, kinda rude, yes, but It's not Harry's concern anymore if Louis eat or not.

The doorbell rang was what made Harry zoned out of his thoughts as he was sipping on his tea. He got up and opened the door to see the three familiar boys. God, why are they here so early in the morning? Louis hasn't even waken up yet.

"Harry?!" The three men said in unison.

Harry let them in, the three was still confused why Harry was here again, in his pajamas obviously he had been staying the night.

"Did you actually listen to the management?" Niall felt bad to see Harry here if the reason he's here was for the management's request.

Harry didn't said anything, he just turned around and said. "I'll wake Louis up."

"No, you don't have to, he knows we were coming." Zayn gave him a loving smile as Liam and Niall made their way in the kitchen, looking for something to eat. The boys always made theirselves at home in here, so it didn't bother Harry to watch them go through Louis' food, it happened quite often on the old days and Harry has always been okay with it.

Zayn made sure the other two boys weren't listening or looking when he took one of Harry's hand on his and m said. "Are you sure coming back to Louis is good for you?"

Harry opened his mouth, about to tell him they aren't together so it's fine, but he was interrupted with Louis' voice, that was suddenly besides him. "He's fine, Zayn, get your hands off of him."

Before he knows it, Louis' arm was around his hip, pulling him closer by the side, Harry wanted to protest and flinch away, but he didn't, Harry doesn't even know why he liked the feeling of Louis holding him as if he was his boy- Harry, don't.

"I, uh, leave you guys alone then." Harry walked away and back into his room, locking the door behind him. 


	9. Chapter 9

Louis told Harry they were leaving before Harry even had the chance to spend time with the boys like they usually do, but once the four bandmates left, Harry was alone again. It was a Saturday and Harry didn't have any classes, he was back in his fashion studio finishing a dress until he realized he was too tired to do that so he went back in the kitchen, going through cabinets of food, looking for anything to chew on, preferably something sour or sweet or a mixture of both if they exists.

At this point, he didn't even know what was he looking for, he was just going through drawers and cabinets until something caught his eyes in one of the drawer. It was a inside a clear bag with a zipper on it, it doesn't take a genius to know what's that white powder inside was.

This was something Harry didn't know before. When did Louis start using cocaine and stocks it in his kitchen like it was some fucking kitchen ingredients?

Harry knew fame was going to get to Louis and do this to him- what else has he been taking? Harry shouldn't be concerned about this but he is, Louis is his baby's father and of course Harry was concern.

He took his phone, send Louis a quick text of "we need to talk."

So a few hours later, Louis didn't answered his text, Harry's not even sure if he got the text or not, but Louis finally came home, he was alone and the boys weren't with him anymore.

"Good news, Harry, they agreed to finish the album here." Louis smiled, entering the kitchen where Harry has been in all day waiting for Louis.

Louis walked closer to him, he remembered the text from Harry and knows this isn't going to end well. "You wanted to talk?"

Harry didn't said anything, he was sat on the barstool with both of his elbows rested on the counter, he slid the bag of white powder over to Louis. Louis' gaze dropped to it immediately. "Is there anything you want to tell me?"

Louis stayed silent, eyes still on the bag. He didn't know what to say and regretted stocking it in there.

"Tour wasn't easy and tiring," Louis explained. "It's what kept me energetic, I guess- the boys took it too and I swear I haven't touch that since America-"

"So, you've been taking them, even when we were together?"

"Harry, I need it-"

"This is dangerous! It could kill you and you're stocking it in the kitchen like its fucking food!" Harry raised his voice, looking up to where Louis was standing. "And you told me this is where you want to raise our baby?!"

Louis sighed, why was arguing with Harry is so fucking hard and why are they still arguing over every little thing. "Look, I'm sorry, I'll get rid of it, leave it alone, will you?"

"Is there anything else you've been taking?" Harry dared to ask though Louis didn't dare to answer that.

He just took the plastic bag from Louis and leaving him alone in the kitchen.

Louis didn't leave his room until it was dinner time and he was getting hungry, but Harry wasn't anywhere to be seen. "Harry?" He called and walked over to Harry's room, surprisingly the door wasn't locked and Harry was on his bed, sleeping peacefully.

Harry was always tired now and Louis knew better than to interrupt, but he walked in, sitting on the corner of the bed and watch Harry sleeps peacefully. "Harry? It's dinner time, love, come on wake up."

He shouldn't do it but he did, he placed his palms on Harry's shoulder, squeezing it so gently but it made Harry jerked up, looking over at Louis. "D-don't,"

Harry had two moods, sometimes he would ignore it if Louis placed his hand on Harry but other time he's nothing but scared to have Louis' hands on him. "I'm sorry," Louis mumbled, but Harry heard him, Harry didn't know why he kept apologizing, Harry's not even sure he fucking meant it.

Harry finally turned to face him, eyes still sleepy. "Is it okay if I choose dinner?"

"Yeah, of course, what do you want ?" Louis smiled, somehow Harry choosing what to eat made him happy.

Harry thought to himself, there's so many things he wanted to eat tonight and he was feeling extra hungry. "You know that sushi place we used to go to, the one with the nice chef who yelled to greet us?"

"I remember, Harry." Louis smiled at the memory of Harry jumping a little, though it didn't surprise Louis since he had been to Japan before and that's how exactly they greeted their customers.

But Harry never even had sushi before until they went there.

"And-" Harry cuts him off, blushing of embarrassment that he wanted something else.

One of Louis' brow raised, questioning the boy. "And? It's okay, We can order from two places if you want to."

"I'd actually would love a bucket of KFC chicken."

Louis nodded. "Anything else?"

Harry shakes his head, no, whispering a 'thank you' Louis stood up and made his way out of the room, by the time he was at the door, Harry called him back. "Oh, and, Lou?"

Louis' head spun to look back at Harry. "The baby would like some guacamole."

He just chuckled, nodding before leaving the room. He told Alberto to pick everything up, he didn't believe in delivery order since that's not what famous singers do.

Louis didn't even order any food from any place he gets food for Harry, he ordered pizza instead, pepperoni with cheese on top.

By the time the food got there, Louis couldn't believe what he saw, Harry was eating a bucket of chicken by himself, not even offering Louis some. They were sat on the sofa, watching whatever was on the Telly, Harry was more focused on his food and Louis was more focused on Harry. He had finished his sushi and almost done with his bucket of chicken and Louis only ate two pieces of his pizza and he felt like he had a enough, Louis put the box down on the coffee table, Harry's eyes immediately fell on the eaten pizza.

"Are you not going to eat that?" Harry asked, Louis took a glance at the pizza and looked back at Harry. God, Harry was going to ask for the pizza, wasn't he?

Louis grab the box back and hand it over to Harry, Harry was too excited for the pizza he put down the bucket, forgetting about the chicken already as he stuffed the pizza in his mouth.

"Save room for the guacamole, love." Louis chuckled, getting up from the sofa, Harry looked up and watch his ex boyfriend walked away.

"Where are you going?" He asked, frowning. Why was he sad that Louis was leaving him alone?

Louis called a "I'm getting some ice cream,"

That caught Harry attention as he yelled back. "Chocolate chip for me and strawberry for the baby!"

Louis came back with two glass of scooped ice cream, by the time he came back; Harry's guacamole was half eaten. "I don't think I can finish this."

"You don't have to," Louis smiled, sitting back down next to him. He thought Harry changed his mind about the ice cream, but Harry grabbed a cup from him and stuff the ice cream in his mouth.

Louis watched Harry stuffed the ice cream, smiling fondly. "Slow down, you're going to choke."

"I'm fine." He was talking with his mouth full of ice cream, Louis took a spoon full of his mint ice cream, Harry's eyes land on Louis' cup.

He looked back at Louis, giving him a smile a little boy would gave their parents when they want something from them. "Can I try yours?"

Louis didn't hesitate to feed him a spoon full of mint ice cream, Harry's mouth was messy from melted ice cream that was now drying and sticking on his lip.

Harry choked on the spoon, coughing the ice cream out of his mouth spitting it all over.

"God, you're disgusting." Louis joked, handing Harry a glass of water, letting him drink to calm himself down.

When Harry calmed down, he didn't even hesitate to finish his glass of chocolate chip and strawberry ice cream.

Louis continued to finish his as well, they ate in silent until Harry suggested something. "I wonder what's it taste like to mix these three ice cream together."

"Harry, you literally just choked on all three flavors- oh."

This was, something else? Harry literally asked him for a kiss and he wasn't even sure Harry's on his right mind if he asked Louis for a kiss but won't even let Louis rest his hands on his shoulder.

But, Louis leaned in anyway, he closed his eyes and thought that he'd face Harry's palm, but his lips was collided with Harry's sticky cold lips, Harry was already kissing back, one of his hand rested on Louis' thigh and the other was still holding his cup of ice cream.

What am I doing?! Harry thought to himself, but he didn't want to pull away, not even for the sake of breathing. But Louis pulled away first, just to put his cup on the coffee table before scooting closer, reuniting their lips together.

It's been so long since he had Harry's lips against his, when was the last time? Was it the night they fucked in their music studio- where Harry begged him to stop but he didn't- God, now's not the right time to think of that.

This time, Harry pulled away with a gasp realizing he had dropped his cup and spilled the melted ice cream all over the carpet. That carpet was expensive, Harry remembered cause he bought it with Louis' credit card around last year when he was decorating their house for the first time.

"I'm sorry, I'll-" Harry apologized but was cut off with Louis' lips against his once again.

Harry's other hand rested against Louis' chest, slowly tugging on Louis' shirt. "Fuck the carpet, we'll get a new one." Was what Louis said when he pulled away then quickly reuniting their lips once more.

His lips left Harry's and slides over to his ear, nibbling it, making Harry giggle on how it tickles his ear. Harry always giggles when they're making out, whether it's when Louis was nibbling his ear or even when Louis was leaving marks on Harry's neck. He always giggle so Louis doesn't even question it anymore. "Come here," Louis whispered, pulling away and rested his back against the sofa and let Harry climb up his lap.

Harry was seated on Louis' lap with both of his hand against Louis' chest. His eyes was glued on Louis' lips, he wanted more of Louis' lips.

So he leaned down and let his tongue slipped inside Louis' mouth, their tongue was dancing with one another and Louis' hand was squeezing his hips when suddenly-

It came back to him.

That night.

He had too many to drink, sharing a blunt with Louis and suddenly they were all over each other.

Harry getting up to get the lube from their room.

Harry on his knees, doing what Louis told him to do.

Harry trying to ride Louis without any preparation, and Louis letting himself took control and-

That's where his night terror always started.

That's what made Harry pulled away immediately, those weren't just nightmares, that night happened and the studio wasn't the first time Louis actually hurt him. That night; was the night their baby was made.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Louis asked when he saw that Harry was blankly starring at him. "Harry, love, are you okay?"

Harry got off of his lap, squirming to the end of the sofa. Louis turned to him confused, trying to reach for him but Harry swat his hand away.

That night happened.

Harry was unconscious and Louis took advantage of that. "D-don't touch me,"

Louis frowned, he was both confused and sad, they were having a good time and doing okay and now once again they're back in square one. "What did I do wrong?"

Harry didn't said anything, tears was already rolling down his face, he got up from the sofa, Louis quickly got up too, he didn't know what's going on and he was scared he did something wrong.

"Harry-"

Harry didn't said anything as he storm away and into his room, Louis was chasing after him but he was too damn fast to locked the door behind him.

Louis wanted to knock but he didn't dare, Harry needed to be alone, that's what he thought, so he left Harry to it, sighing as he walked away from Harry's room.

Meanwhile Harry was in his bed, crying at the thought of Louis hurting him before and he didn't even remembered it until they were once again on the same position they did before.

 


	10. Chapter 10

Harry walked in the kitchen with a note and food on the table.

'Early morning recording, if you want anything just ring Alberto. Lou xx.'

He sighed in relief to know that Louis wasn't home, he ate the pancake that was set on the table, deciding on what he should do today.

But of course he found himself with a brush and a bucket of soap trying to get rid of the chocolate stain on Louis' carpet. The thought of last night still linger on him, he had turned Louis down and Louis didn't try to hurt him- did he changed? Is the old Louis back? He can't trust him yet, after all, Louis did hurt him more than once and he was scared for his life.

He let out a frustrated groaned, realizing nothing's going to get the chocolate out. Maybe he could take it to a dry cleaner and let them fix this for him.

Too late though, he heard the front door opened and closed again and footsteps coming into where he was kneeling. "Harry, you don't have to." Louis sighed, kneeling besides him.

Harry shakes his head, no. He didn't said anything but Louis isn't going to make him quit trying to fix his mess.

"You really don't have to, you should get some rest, you have school tomorrow." Louis took the brush from him, putting it inside the small bucket that was sitting besides Harry.

Harry sighed, getting up from the carpet. "And a doctor's appointment,I don't even want to go."

"You have an appointment tomorrow?" Louis asked, turning back to face Harry, who still hasn't looked over at Louis yet. "Is it okay if I come with?"

"Don't you have another recording session?" In all honesty, he did not want Louis to go with him, he felt like Louis only wanted to go for the attention- to seen outside with his pregnant boyfriend.

Louis smiled, sweetly. "I can go after, or before and leave the studio early."

Harry shakes his head, no. "It's fine, I can go alone, Sarah might even come with me."

"I insist." Louis was going and he stands by his choice. "What time tomorrow?"

They didn't talk the rest of the day, Harry locked himself in his room and said he's eating dinner with Sarah, which he did, and came home late to find Louis already asleep, peacefully.

After his early classes, since he only had two classes today, he left quite early and on his way to the doctor's, he's supposed to meet up with Louis there and by the time he arrived with Sarah, Louis was already there.

"Hey Sarah, long time no see." He smiled at Harry's friend, Sarah had to put on the best fake smile on her face for this man who hurt her best friend. "Harry, here, I bought you something."

He hand Harry a small paper bag, God, Harry was starving and the smell of tuna sandwich made him lick his lips. 

He finished his sandwich in peace, Sarah and Louis sat awkwardly next to each other watching Harry finished his food.

"So, why is your doctor appointment once a week?" Sarah asked, something she never asked before. Honestly, she was just trying to break the silence.

Harry looked up from his sandwich, shrugging. "The doctor said he needs to always check on me- since it's a male pregnancy and all."

"Harry Styles?" The nurse called, The two boys stood up, Harry turned to face Sarah and frowned.

Sarah look up to him and gave him a grin and a thumb up. He sighed as he get in the room with an excited Louis following.

They came home with a picture of an ultrasound, Louis was still starring at it as they waited for Alberto-- who Louis can't  wait to show the ultrasound to. "I can't believe this," he was in awe and Harry didn't know why he felt nothing but fond for this.

"Can I post this?" He asked for Harry's permission as he took his phone out, Sarah was already rolling her eyes.

Harry nodded giving Louis a huge smile on his face. He watched as he took the picture on his camera and type something what Harry thought would be the caption.

They dropped off Sarah in her flat and Harry was dozing off in the car ride home, he was really tired and this was a long day, by the time they arrived, Harry was fully asleep and Alberto had to wake him up since Louis was scared to touch him and scared him again. So he kept his distance.

"I'm going to nap," Harry made his way into Louis' room, he didn't know if he was tired or just completely forgotten that he didn't share a room with Louis anymore, but his old bed sounds nice for a nap he much needed, and Louis didn't even stopped him and as Harry fell on the king sized bed, his eyes immediately closed and he was dozed off.

Harry woke up, confused to which why he was in Louis' room- Louis wasn't even in here with him, he looked over at the time and it was 9 at night. Where could Louis be?

He left the room and search around the penthouse for Louis but he was nowhere to be seen. And there weren't any notes or food left on the table or anywhere at all.

 _"where are you?????"_ Harry sent a quick text and the reply was instant.

It was just a _"almost home x"_

Harry sighed in relief as he went through the fridge to find something to eat.

Not long after he decided to have cereal at 9 PM, Louis came in the door, closing it behind him and smiling as he saw Harry in the kitchen.

"Sorry, got to finish a song today." Louis explained, walking in the kitchen, eyes landed on Harry's bump that seemed bigger than it was last week.

Harry ignored him, once again going through the fridge.

"Have you told your mum about this?" Louis asked, he received a few calls from his mum and Harry's mum today after the picture he posted, and Harry's mum was both concern and confused and saying she can't visit cause her husband, Robin was sick and she had to take care of him. "She called me today, she's really worried about you."

Harry sighed. "She kept calling me but I really don't think I can show up like this- I mean, mum always has an open mind towards everything but...she wouldn't imagine this even in her wildest dreams."

"I'm sure your mum will be glad," Louis walked closer to Louis, sneaking behind the boy who still going through the fridge.

Louis didn't know what he was doing but he felt like Harry needed comfort, so he wrapped his arms around Harry, his chin resting against Harry's shoulder.

Harry didn't even flinch. He needed a hug. He was bigger than Louis which made the boy had to stand on his tip toe as he hugged the younger of the two from behind.

"I'm seeing mum soon, you should come with, we can go and see your mum also." Louis offered since they basically were neighbors back in Doncaster, Harry's family moved there when Harry was 14 and he immediately became best friends with his neighbor, which by that he meant Louis. And years past the two started going out- Louis got a big break and Harry got accepted in UAL and they both moved to London.

Louis' mum was sick, and Louis hasn't gotten around to visit her and he felt bad, so he promised he'll come over soon, and might as well have Harry come with him.

They were in the same position in silence, Harry was just enjoying a presence hugging him while Louis just wanted to hug Harry as long as he could.

But Louis had to asked. "Wh-why did you ran away from me when we kissed?"

The question had Harry stunned. He didn't expect Louis to ever ask that and just accepted that Harry didn't meant to kiss him.

Harry stayed silent for a couple of minutes Louis was scared he had to repeat his question or live without not knowing the answer.

That's when Harry pulled away from Louis' touch, closing the fridge door and walking away from him, keeping his distance. "Do you remember the dream I told you about?"

"You still have those?" Louis sighed. Of course he still does. Harry didn't know how to tell him this, Louis either remembered what happened or was as unconscious as Harry was.

Harry turned to face him. "That wasn't a dream- it happened, I remembered- you, hurt me when I was unconscious, Louis."

Louis just stands there with his jaw practically fell on the ground. He didn't know what to say and why Harry remember that. "I don't remember anything, Harry, I swear-"

"Listen, Lou, it doesn't matter anymore." Harry cuts him off. "But I think it's really best if you keep your distance from me, y-you- I'm scared, Lou."

That broke Louis' heart to know that Harry was scared to be near him. But with that; Harry left the kitchen and into his room, locking it just in case.

Leaving Louis to stand there alone, heartbroken and mad at himself and what he had turned himself into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello pls let me know what you guys think so far I'm anxious and now I kinda want to put this fic down lol


	11. Chapter 11

The next couple of weeks was the same, Harry would go to school, had too much to eat, finish Louis' food for him and Louis would just smile fondly at him, then Louis would go into recording, or just managements meetings or just spending the entire day at home- even come to doctors appointment with Harry.

Though Louis tried to keep his distance from Harry since, trying not to make the boy uncomfortable in any kinds of way.

They visited their mums and Anne was over the moon with joy to know that she was going to be a grandma, and poor Jay, she wasn't doing her best but getting to touch Harry's stomach and give the boy some 'mummy tips' somehow put a huge smile on Jay's face.

He didn't get to hang out with Sarah a lot since most times Louis would pick him up right after classes and told him he needs to rest, Louis was right though, Harry has been tired all the time.

The bump was starting to get visible and Harry's tight jeans were no longer Harry's everyday look.

Louis had finished recording and the management was working on their album, Louis would have shoots every now and then but most times he was home with Harry.

It was one morning when Harry felt nauseous and threw up in the toilet again,he didn't expect Louis to come but he must've heard Harry's coughing.

He pulled Harry's hair back, kneeling behind the boy. Louis didn't said anything, just helped the boy cleaned his mouth and got up. Harry was leaning in front of the bathroom mirror, both of his hands were gripping the bathroom's counter. "I don't feel so good,"

"No school for you today, then."

"I've been skipping quite a lot, I don't think I should-" Harry sighed as he felt another twist in stomach. He groaned in pain. "Okay, fuck school."

Louis found a discarded hair band on the counter, he stood on his tip toes to tie Harry's long hair into a bun, Harry was sweating so much and his hair was wet. It was gross in Harry's opinion but Louis didn't mind.

"Today we get to find out the gender," Harry reminded him making Louis smiled excitedly.

"I bet it's a boy," Louis was literally placing his money on it. He told everyone that he wanted it to be a boy and he knew it's going to be a boy.

Harry didn't care about that, he was happy whether he gets a boy or a girl, but Harry felt like it's a girl- he said it's mother's instinct but Louis told him that he's sure it's a boy.

So that day they went to the doctors again, just the two of them this time- no Sarah or their mums wanting to come with them. Alberto of course, was around them but he was waiting outside in case a whole crowd showed up at the clinic like it did last week and the week before that which made Harry cried- God, everything made Harry cries nowadays.

"What am I looking at?" Louis has been to many of Harry's ultrasounds now but he still has no idea what's he's looking at until the doctor had to point it out at him.

Harry told him to be quite, he was also confused but he didn't dare show it in front of the doctor.

"There she is!" The doctor said, excitedly.

"She?" Harry asked and the doctor nodded.

"Congratulation, it's a girl." He smiled, Harry was smiling ear to ear by now, happy tears fell down from his face as he look up to Louis who had his jaw dropped.

Harry reached over to close his mouth, zoning him out of his thought as he looked down at Harry. "We're having a baby girl!"

Louis who was over the moon that he made Harry go shopping with him for the baby's supplies, Harry had never seen him more energetic to shop before.

"Louis, I don't want my baby's entire closet to be nothing but pink." Harry glared at him. "Just cause she's a girl doesn't mean she can't wear anything but pink."

"I know, love, but the pink ones are the cutest- I bet she'll have your skin tone and pink looks good on you!" Louis explained, Harry chuckled to that.

"The last time you predict something you said the baby was going to be a boy,"

"Even if the baby's a boy I'd get these pink dresses, like I said I bet it will have your skin tone."

"Not an it, Louis." Harry corrected him. "It's a she."

Louis apologized with an apologetic smile going through all the babies clothing section.

Harry didn't even know why they're doing this when Harry can make baby clothes himself. "You know I can make these exact onesies and tiny dresses,right?"

Louis smiled, turning to face Harry, he nodded. "Yes but you're more of an expensive designer, you can design her prom dress and wedding dress."

Harry slapped Louis' arm, playfully, Alberto was with them, going through baby clothes and Louis would ask which one is cuter to Alberto.

"Cameras," Alberto pointed out, trying to block Louis from the camera that was facing their directions.

Fuck, how did they found him?

Harry hated seeing candids of him, he rolled his eyes about to ask Louis to leave when Louis decided to do something against leaving or having Alberto block them.

"It's fine, its just some pictures" Louis told Alberto, walking closer to where Harry was standing, his arms immediately wrapped around Harry's hip, pulling him closer.

Harry's eyes widen about to flinch away from Louis but of course Louis won't let go, not when there's cameras. "Don't be mad at me, yeah?"

"What-" before Harry even finished his question, Louis was already leaning in, pressing his lips against Harry's.

Harry pulled away immediately, eyes widen as he stepped away from Louis. "What are you doing?!"

Louis swore he was going to explain himself, but he could see how angry Harry was that he took him by surprise, Harry waited for an answer but Louis was speechless.

He scoffed, storming away from Alberto and Louis. The two men quickly followed him to make sure he's safe and didn't wind up anywhere near those paparazzi.

 

The whole car ride back was silent, Harry looking over the window, he didn't even want to look at Louis after what happened. Louis kissed him because there were cameras, God, why is Louis so- selfish and thinks it's okay to kiss Harry like that?!

Harry ignored him completely till they were back inside their penthouse and Harry was about to lock himself inside his room like he usually does but Louis caught his wrist, stopping him in his track.

"Let me explain-" Louis sighed as Harry tried to jerk his hand off of him. "I know what I did was stupid but- everyone still thinks we broke up over the baby and I want everyone to thinks we are still together."

"But we aren't, and no one should care if we are or not." Harry glared at him. "I know the reason I'm here, back in the house, is so you can get all the attention and everyone will think you're a great loving soon to be father but Louis, you can't just kiss me like that!"

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have." Louis was calmed, he regretted it though he knew the pictures will go viral.

Harry didn't said anything else as Louis let's go of his wrist, he didn't hesitate to get in his room and lock the door behind him.

\---

"Well done, Louis! The pictures took over the internet!" One of the guys in his management team laughed in victory as he watched Louis' twitter mentions keep on going ever since the picture got everywhere yesterday. "Now this is what your fans want! To know you and Harry are in good terms."

"I swear they hated Harry before," Louis mumbled, he didn't know why he was called in today, he has better things to do at home and it was only 10 in the morning.

Gordon, one of the guys in his management got an idea just over the hysteria Louis was getting.

"The VMAs are in two weeks, right? You should try and get Harry to go with you." Gordon suggested.

  
No. Harry would say no. He know this, he didn't even have to ask.

"Harry wouldn't want to, he has school and it's all the way in America." Louis rolled his eyes at Gordon. "Look, Harry doesn't even want to kiss me in public- he hates me if that's not obvious enough the only reason he's staying is because of our fucking baby and for the sake of it- her future."

"The baby's a girl?" Morrison, another guy had his eyes widen at the mention of the gender. "When did you found out? Why haven't you told your fans yet?"

God, all these people cares about was how much attention Louis is getting. "I forgot, me and Harry had a fight over the kiss and we haven't spoken since."

"You don't need Harry's permission to post a picture, in fact; you need ours more than his." Gordon pointed out.

He had a point though, Louis' and the boys' accounts was all controlled by the management team. And they gets to choose what's stays and what's go down whether they liked it or not since it was written in the contract.

"Listen, we don't have a lot of time, we have a meeting with little mix in 20 minutes." Mitch, the guy who was still starring at Louis' twitter mentions said. "Post a picture and get Harry to go with you to the VMAs, that's your homework, kid."

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

"Oh, fuck, Louis- don't stop!" Harry moaned, shoving his own fingers inside himself.

This was wrong in so many ways.

Louis, should be the last thing in his mind in any kinds of situations except if its baby related.

But the whole day since he woke up he's been nothing but horny but he had an early clas and by the time he's home Louis wasn't even home yet, he did text Harry and said something about a meeting.

Harry was kinda glad since he had been thinking of the way Louis used to hold him down and fuck him good all day long and it would be embarrassing if Louis knew.

But, Harry had no one to fuck him and he isn't going to ask Louis to do it- no, he can't imagine ever sleeping with that man again.

So he thought getting down on his own fingers and thinking of Louis was harmless and Louis doesn't have to know.

So here he was on his bed with his legs spread, two fingers inside himself and his other hand was pinching his own nipples. Louis always pinch and twist his nipples and Harry misses it more than anything- God, when Louis has his fingers on Harry's hard buds and twist it with no mercy, that was heaven for Harry.

"Lou, I'm close- yes, yes!" Harry was so close on coming untouch, bucking his hips repeatedly as his fingers found his spot.

He was moaning way too loud he didn't heard the front door opened and closed again.

What he heard though, was the sound of his unlock bedroom door being opened the same time he reached orgasm, screaming Louis' name at the top of his lung.

"Louis! Oh- yes, Louis?!"

There he was, the man he just imagined to reach orgasm, standing on his doorframe with his jaw dropped.

His face was both red from embarrassment and how good he felt from his fingers, he was naked and Louis had seen him naked before, but never since they broke up and this was embarrassing.

Louis still stands there, he didn't know if he should leave or not.

"Have you heard of knocking?!" Harry threw a pillow at him, immediately covering his naked body with his bed covers.

Louis zoned back in once the pillow hit him, he closed his mouth, clearing his throat. "Did you just-"

"Leave me alone," Harry turned around, he didn't want to face Louis like this.

Louis chuckled, he didn't know what was the big deal (except the fact that Harry just moaned his name out loud) but it's not like he had never seen Harry like this before. Cause he had, so many times before its countless. "There's no need to be embarrassed, I literally taught you how to masturbate."

That was true, he did; when Harry was only 14 and he would spend the evening after school at Louis', Louis would always made Harry watch porn with him and said all the cool kids watch porn at 14, Harry probably gotten so into it he started rubbing his hard on in front of Louis.

Which, leads Louis to make him pull down his pants and teach him the proper way to get off. Louis witnessed the first time Harry came all over himself, face was all red and his moans was what turned Louis on.

It was so much like what he had just saw earlier, Harry moaning Louis' name with his face all red. Louis loves it. And he missed the sound of Harry's voice moaning his name without begging him to stop.

"What do you want, Louis?" Harry was still hiding under his covers.

Louis honestly forgot what he wanted because of what he just saw. Oh- right, he was going to ask Harry what he wanted for dinner.

"I'm ordering food, I was wondering what you wanted." Louis asked, sitting down on the corner of Harry's bed.

Harry gave it much thought, he loves it when its time to eat and man, was he gaining a lot of weight. "I want Thai food or maybe a steak."

"Or maybe both," Louis knew Harry was going to say that like he always did every time Louis asked what he wanted for dinner.

Harry giggled at that, still not wanting to show his face since he was still embarrassed. He mean, wouldn't anyone be embarrassed if they were in Harry's position?

"I'll be right back, put some clothes on." Louis left the room, closing it to give Harry some privacy.

Harry only came out of his room when Louis told him the food were ready. Just like every other night, Louis didn't finish his food which leads to Harry eating it. "You're gaining so much weight," Louis didn't said it like it was a bad thing but it made Harry frowned. "I'm not saying it's bad, love, it's good for her."

Harry knew he was referring to their baby. "You're losing so much weight,"

"I'm not," Louis chuckled.

"You are, I've been eating all your food!" Harry pointed out, he didn't even notice how smaller Louis has gotten until now as they sat in front of each other on the dinner table.

"I read that cocaine made you loose weight," Harry tried.

Louis sighed. "I'm fine,"

Harry didn't continue to argue since the steak he was having was so fucking good. "Here, have some."

He feed Louis a small cut of his steak, Louis couldn't turn that down though he wasn't even hungry at all he wouldn't turn down food from Harry. "Harry, I've been meaning to ask....you know the VMA's is in two weeks right?"

Harry nodded, how could he forgot, Louis hasn't stopped talking about three of the nominations the band got and he's going to perform their soon to be new single for the first time.

"So, I was wondering, if you'd like to come with," Louis chuckled, nervously. "Me and the boys are getting our suits done, I can tell them to make one more if you want to."

"I want to! Yes !" Harry said excitedly, he can't remember the last award show he went with Louis, probably the Brits earlier this year, he loves awards shows cause he gets to see fancy people in fancy clothing and ask them 'who are they wearing' and Harry would always wear his own design so when anyone asked he'd proudly said he made it. "But Louis, can I design your suit for you? I'll have it done in a week I promise! I have something in mind for you!"

A huge smile spread on Louis' face from that. Harry never let Louis wore one of his designs before, Harry said he wasn't much of a professional yet to let a Louis Tomlinson leave the house with it.

"Of course you can, do you want time to order your suit though?"

Harry nodded. "I won't have time to make two in two weeks, and I haven't mastered in maternity yet."

Louis almost forgot about that. Is it possible to have a maternity pants matched with a luxurious tuxedo? That's Ralph Laurent's problem, thank God.

"Oh, and Louis?" Harry tried again. He wasn't going to let go. "Will you please promise me you'll try and stop-stop doing uh."

Louis knew what he meant.

"I promise."

They both stayed up late inside Harry's fashion studio which soon will be turned into the baby's room.

Harry was way too excited to sleep and he needed to measure Louis, then Louis kinda felt bad to leave him here alone. So he was lying on the floor on top of garments. He was getting really tired but the sound of Harry's machine was still going.

Harry took a glance at Louis who had his eyes shut by now, he should probably continue this tomorrow. So he turned off the machine, getting up from his seat and kneeled in front of a sleeping Louis. "Louis, go to your room, I'll continue this in the morning."

Louis' eyes were once again opened, he got up from the floor with Harry and the two boys made it to leave the room.

His room felt like miles away at a situation where he just want to throw himself on the floor and sleep, he yawned making his way inside Harry's room. "Is it okay if you sleep in my room tonight?" Was all Louis said before he passed out on Harry's bed.

Harry smiled, fondly, he pull the covers over to Louis' chest, letting him sleep in peace.

He didn't leave the room yet, he just stands there starring at his baby's daddy, smiling to himself.

Harry knows better and he really shouldn't, but he did anyway as he fits in the space on the bed next to Louis. Sharing a bed won't hurt. And Harry needed company. Preferably Louis'.

 

\--

  
Louis woke up before Harry did, he found himself in Harry's room with Harry next to him that's a huge difference. Harry wasn't scared to sleep next to him, that was a start.

He smiled starting at Harry's back that was facing him.

And last night, Harry was obviously imagining Louis as he came and Louis didn't know how to feel about that. They both still have feelings for each other and it was pretty obvious. But Louis knew better than to try and win Harry back, not after everything he did to the boy.

"Lou-" he heard Harry said, his head jerked up- what the fuck is Harry awake?

"Yeah?"

"No, Louis don't" Harry said, squirming. Louis didn't even did anything?! "Louis, slow down-"

Oh.

"Louis, stop!" Harry jerked up, waking himself up. He looks around the room. Another dream. The same dream.

He turned to face Louis who had widen eyes- he almost forgot he had slept with Louis last night.

"Harry-"

But before he could say anything, Harry was already running out of the room and into the bathroom, throwing up everything he had last night.

Louis was still frozen in bed. Was it that bad that Harry actually had night terrors like these? He hated seeing Harry that way. No wonder he was so scared of Louis.

The rest of the day, they didn't talk about it. Not even about anything but Louis' suit that Harry decided to take to school because he said there were a tons of sewing machine there and they won't mind him using it over breaks.

  
\--

Louis had to leave to America a week early for VMA's rehearsal and Harry said he can't wait to surprise Louis with his suit.

The week flew by quickly and nothing bad happened between the two except Harry gets moody when Louis did something slightly wrong like buying dinner too late or lost the Telly's remote.

He spent the week in America, snorting some coke before rehearsal and FaceTime Harry every time he's about to sleep, God, they were acting as if they're still together and Louis didn't mind that, he missed being Harry's boyfriend and he wanted nothing more than to have everything the way it was before but still have the growing baby in Harry's stomach.

Louis felt bad for everything he told Harry to do before, to get rid of their baby or to leave which in the end made Harry leave and that's when everything was fucked up.

"Harry's arriving tonight, isn't he?" Liam asked, excitedly, the three boys were close to Harry almost like he was a part of their band, they haven't gotten to hang out ever since their last tour ended and the whole baby drama started. They missed Harry, they all do.

Louis nodded. "He made me a suit, did I told you guys?"

"He finally did!" Niall cheered. The four boys was in the hotel's bar after rehearsal has ended, they were all sweaty and energetic from what the drugs did to them. It was a long day and they all needed it.

Zayn cleared his throat. "So, what's actually going on, are you two back together?"

Louis shakes his head, no, sighing.

Zayn tried not to smirk at that and saw the two boys frowned- which made him frowned as well.

"I don't think Harry wanted to be with me ever again since-" he trailed off, he wouldn't dare tell the boys what he did. It was a secret he will keep to himself and will take to his grave.

But he couldn't just cut himself off and expect the boys to let it go. And they knew Louis far too well by now. "You forced him to do something, didn't you?" Liam was the one who guessed. Now Zayn or Niall wouldn't guessed that, they'd guessed he cheated on him or something.

But the silence from Louis made the three boys confirmed that Liam was right.

"Mate, that's fucked up, Harry's a great guy." Niall broke the silence between the boys. Louis still hasn't said anything.

He knows that's fucked up, why can't they tell him something a little more useful?!

Louis didn't even want to look up to face any of their faces, they were all judging him and he couldn't blame them. He would too if one of his bandmates raped someone.

"I wouldn't want my kid near you if I was Harry," Zayn said it so casually, that's what made Louis looked up to Zayn who sat across him.

He glared at the man. "Well, guess what, Zayn? You aren't Harry and Harry wants our baby, to know her father." Louis emphasized the word 'our' and 'father', Zayn didn't know why he was so defensive all of the sudden. "And news flash, Zayn, Harry would never want to go out with you, he's still in love with me and he could do better than a fucking drug addict loner who wastes his time trying to date his bandmate's boyfriend."

That what made Zayn slammed the table, sending the two other boys to jump slightly.

"I'm not trying to fucking steal Harry from you, you fuckhead!" He raised his voice, thank God the bar away crowded and the band was playing loudly. But a few eyes were on them anyway. "I just think he deserves better, and he do, honestly, and you're keeping him away from finding someone cause you're a selfish fuckhead who needs him so you won't loose the world's attention on Louis fucking Tomlinson!"

Zayn stood up from the table, about to leave but he added. "Also, don't call me a drug addict loner when you know you're far worse- you're a drug addict rapist!"

That went too far.

Louis can't just sit there and let Zayn left in peace, so he got up about to chase after Zayn who was already storming away. Niall and Liam quickly pulled him back, keeping him in place to make sure he won't try and chase Zayn and probably beat him to death.

\---

Louis was so happy when he saw Harry made it to the hotel safely with Alberto since he sent Alberto to pick him up from the airport.

"Hey there," Louis opened his arms as if Harry's going to hug him- which he did, stopping his suitcase with wheels and let Louis wrapped his arms around the boy. "How're you feeling?"

Harry mumbled a 'tired' letting his head rest on Louis' shoulder. Louis asked an employee to take care of Harry's luggage, saying his thank you to Alberto and let him lead them to Louis' hotel room.

Of course Louis was making Harry stayed with him, it wasn't a budget thing or anything but they have always booked one floor for the whole crew and the boys, and there weren't an available room left on their floor for Harry to sleep alone.

And there was no way he can make the boys or anyone else to share a room with someone else. Harry was his to take care of.

"Get some rest, sweetheart, you had a long flight." Louis was starting to call Harry with tons of different endearments again and Harry wasn't complaining. Harry was used to it before and he wasn't going to make Louis stop.

He loves it, he still do, even for years now he loves it when Louis called him with endearments.

Harry stripped from his clothing till he was left nothing but a boxer shorts and the white shirt he was wearing, laying down on the king sized bed, he was so glad he's finally on a bed.

"Come here," Harry gestured for Louis to lie down next to him. "She missed you."

Louis smiled, fondly joining Harry on the bed, lying on his side to face Harry. Harry's hand was on his stomach, the bump was getting pretty big, Louis lands his palms on Harry's stomach, rubbing it so softly, making the younger boy smile. "Daddy missed you too, love."

"I missed you," Harry admitted, making Louis looked up to him but Harry was already closing his eyes about to fell into deep slumber.

Louis still replied though, but with a whisper only for him to hear. "I missed you too."

  
\--


	13. Chapter 13

Louis woke up to a squirming Harry on their hotel bed, he was half asleep when he opened his eyes to see Harry- literally dry humping the bed- whining to himself.

"Harry?" He called, the younger of the two stopped immediately, turning around to face Louis with his cheeks all red and his baby hair sticking on this forehead from sweating so much.

Louis' eyes glanced over the digital clock on the night stand besides Harry. It was only 8 in the morning and they only have to wake up by 10. He's missing 2 hours of productive sleep before the show tonight!

Harry didn't said anything, his palms went to reach the erection that was growing inside his boxer, Louis' eyes widen at the view he was looking.

Why was Harry touching himself in front of Louis like he had no shame? "Wh-what are you doing?"

"Louis," he moaned his other hand reaching to take Louis' and rest it against the growing bulge as Harry started to rub himself on Louis' palm, moaning uncontrollably; everyone outside might heard him.

Louis just stare at what Harry was doing instead of doing anything at all. "Louis, touch me."

Was he hearing this right? Harry wanted him to touch Harry, this was almost like a dream come true, though he was scared Harry might flinch if he did. But Harry was asking for it.

So his hand reached for Harry's bulge, making the younger boy whined louder than he did before. Louis had to tell him to quite down before getting up from the bed, just to hover over Harry.

"Yes," Harry whispered, looking up to Louis who was on top of him, both of his hands decided to hold Harry's wrists down so he won't try and touch himself again.

But Harry reached up to rub himself against Louis' clothed covered cock anyway. Moaning when he felt Louis was getting hard just from this. "Louis, touch me, been thinking about this- for days."

Louis smirked at that, leaning down to give Harry's lips a kiss. Was a kiss to intimate for them? Harry didn't seemed to mind though as he kissed his ex boyfriend back. Moaning into his mouth. "Louis, please."

"Please what? What do you want me to do, baby?" Louis asked, lips traveling down on Harry's neck, pecking it before decided on a spot of duck, making Harry screamed and moan at the same time.

Harry didn't even know what he wanted, he just want Louis all over him. "Do you think you can suck on me for awhile? Make me come all over your face?"

"God, you'd like that wouldn't you?" Louis chuckled, pulling away from the hickey he successfully made. He hoped everyone tonight gets to see it and it's visible enough, to know that this boy was his. "You want to make a mess all over me, is that what you want?"

Harry nodded, bucking his hips up, looking for the friction he really needs. "Can I, please?"

"Since you asked so nicely," Louis went down on him until he was faced with Harry's baby bump and his cock that was leaking with precome already. "Fuck, what gotten you all worked up?"

"Was thinking of-" Harry moaned when he felt his boxers getting tugged down and Louis' hand was already squeezing his cock. "That one time before the Grammy's, y-you held me down in our suite's bathroom and made me take it while you made me stare at myself in the mirror- oh fuck!"

Louis was already tugging on his cock, Louis remembered the morning before Grammy's, he missed it too, Harry was so submissive and let Louis do as he please, Harry was enjoying himself and he said something about not wanting to come because he wanted to stay in that position forever.

Louis reached down to kiss the head of Harry's cock. Harry tried to look down to see Louis at work but the baby bump was on the way.

"Fuck, you're big." Louis said it as if he never seen Harry's cock before, but it's been so long since he had it in his mouth he was scared he forgot how full Harry's cock is inside his mouth.

He didn't said anything else as he let his mouth sunk down on the cock, Harry moaned out his name as his fingers took a hold of Louis' hair, letting Louis do all the work for him.

Yes. This was what Harry needed.

He buck up his hips, fucking Louis' mouth like there's no tomorrow, and Louis let's the boy do as he please, sucking on his dick a little harder. "Oh, god, Louis more!"

Louis' palm was thrusting on the part of Harry's cock that couldn't fit in his mouth, his other hand was causally playing with Harry's balls, squeezing it slightly. Which made the boy scream.

"I'm close- I- fuck!" Well that was fast. Too fast in Louis' liking, he didn't even have time to pull out and let Harry make a mess on his face. Instead he swallowed everything Harry had squirt out, he was still moaning as he felt Louis' mouth left his cock. "Thank you,"

  
\--

  
The rest of the day; Harry was clinging to Louis, during breakfast with the team and even as they come back up to their rooms to get ready, he hasn't leave Louis' side and Louis didn't know if he liked it or not.

They went up to their room after breakfast, Harry was so excited to finally show Louis the suit he made.

So once they were alone in their room, Harry opened the ironed suit he had to carry all the way from England. "Isn't it pretty!"

Louis' eyes scanned over the suit, it was pretty, the tuxedo was sparkling- did Harry threw glitter on it or something? "I love it,"

"Really?" Harry smiled, he was anxious the whole week because he was scared Louis would hate it. And he wasn't sure if Louis was saying this cause he really loves it or because he didn't want to upset Harry.

Louis nodded, smiling. "This is wonderful, how are you not graduated early yet? I love it, thank you, Harry."

Harry blushed at the compliment, laying the suit down on the coffee table, jumping to sit on Louis' lap where he sat on the love-seat.

This. This was where Harry belong, on Louis' lap, his arms around Louis' neck as he leaned down to kiss him.

Louis doesn't even know what they are at this point, he didn't dare and ask Harry; he didn't want to ruined Harry's good mood and let him cling to his side all day and would kiss him every now and then.

"Do you want to see yours, its with Lou," he said referring to the boys and his hair dresser. He had leave it with her since he received it yesterday so it wouldn't ruin the surprise he had for Harry.

Harry nodded excitedly and didn't even wait for Louis as he leave their room and into Lou's, he wasn't even sure which one was Lou's room he had to ask someone in the hallway- he assumed was Niall's new bodyguard since he heard Niall fired his last one over tour.

  
"I love it! I love it!" Harry squealed as he returned into the shared room with the suit. "Thank you, Lou! I can't wait to wear this- can I try it on?"

"You can do whatever you want, it's yours, love." Louis leaned in to kiss Harry's cheek.

That's how they spent the entire day until it was time to leave to the red carpet. Harry has been clinging to him all day that he hasn't had the chance to snort on some cocaine. He hated it cause he was now nothing but nervous while all the other boys looks fine and ready to be the center of attention.

Somewhere along the pictures on the red carpet, Louis had lost Harry for the band's pictures, Harry was being occupied with so many interviewers going up to him. Harry looked nervous to be standing there alone, Louis excused himself from the boys and took Harry in his arms.

"Louis! Love your suit! What are you wearing?" A reporter asked, Louis wasn't even sure which one.

He smiled at the question. "I'm wearing Harry Styles, isn't that, right, babe?"

Harry nodded, blushing. That's when so many questions was thrown at them, Louis couldn't focus on one. "So, we heard you two were expecting, it's a girl, isn't it?"

"That's right, a beautiful little girl we can't wait to see." Louis was now holding Harry from behind, both of his hands rubbing against the obvious bump.

The crowd sent them an 'Aw', the three boys- who showed up without dates was looking over at the attention Louis was getting.

"Should I knock someone up for this kind of attention?" Niall joked, they knew Louis always has been the center of attention. He was the lead singer, after all; so they didn't mind the attention on him but the three boys kinda felt bad for Harry.

Harry was just standing there and let Louis do all the talking, he looked nervous and about to throw up.

Then one of the reporters had to ask. "Are there any names we can call the baby yet?"

"Names? We haven't gave it much thought." Louis explained. "We don't want to stress over that yet."

Harry actually already have a few names ideas though he hasn't talk about it with Louis since he was occupied most of the times.

He wasn't going to say anything though, he was way too nervous to talk to anyone with a mic shoving up his face.

  
It was more chill inside, Harry sat next to Louis who was too busy taking pictures with the boys every time someone came up to them with a camera. The three boys was all in front of them, so Louis had to leaned down to be a part of the pictures.

"Boys, you're up soon." Someone, who Harry assumed was the VMAs crew came up to them. They all nodded and watch him leave as the boys get up and about to follow the man.

"I'll be right back, wish me luck?"

Harry leaned in to kiss his cheek, whispering a "break a leg" and watch the four boys walk away.

They was escorted by the man to the backstage, and into a dressing room since they were going to change for the performance. "Do you guys think you can keep everyone busy for awhile I need to-"

"Shit, you haven't?" Zayn asked, Louis has been sober the entire night, he couldn't believe Louis could stay sober for that long. If it was Niall or Liam, they'd believe it. But Louis.

Louis rolled his eyes, taking out a small bag of the familiar powder from his pocket. "Harry's been with me all day, won't even leave me alone to pee."

The boys were all changed and they decided to leave Louis alone and guard the door in case someone walk in.

Louis didn't even notice the boys weren't by the door anymore when so many people backstage ask the boys for a picture and Niall was already flirting with a few other singers.

Harry didn't like being seated alone with seat fillers next to him, he got up and ask a guy with a VMAs necklace if he could see Louis backstage.

The guy know who Harry is, didn't need to question him, and he felt kinda bad to see a pregnant man looking around the room and being so lost. So he escorted the boy backstage, leave him there and told him which changing room Louis was in.

He saw the boys all over the place, Zayn was taking pictures with other singers, Liam was talking to a few guys while Niall was flirting with a petite girl with brunette hair. They were all too occupied for Harry to ask where Louis is but he saw the door marked "one direction" and he knows Louis is in there.

"Lou-" he walked in without knocking, getting inside the room to find Louis bending over a table with the white powder all spread neatly on the table.

He had a paper rolled up and didn't even notice Harry was in the room, he was too busy getting the dope inside him. "Louis! You promised!"

Louis looked up to see an angry Harry. How the fuck did he get in here?

"Harry-"

"You promised me!" Why was Harry crying now, God, why did this made Harry cried. He hated this.

Where the fuck is the boys and why can't they guard the door like they should have?! "I'm sorry-"

"Louis! We're up next!" Niall walked in, eyes widen to see Harry in the room.

Louis sighed watching Harry starred at him in disbelief before storming out of the dressing room, bumping into Niall on his way out.

Niall get in the dressing room, closing the door. "You're fine, mate?"

"Y-yeah, lets go." Louis lied, walking out the room with Niall. The boys gathered backstage, just a few more minutes till their names get called on stage and they'll be performing a new song.

  
When they were up on stage, Louis can see Harry sitting on his seat, eyes was starring at Louis with so much hatred, he didn't even get up to dance to the song- which made it harder to see him since everyone was on their feet dancing to the song they just heard for the first time.

By the time the song ends and everyone gave them a standing ovation, Louis put on his best smile saying his thank you and it was time for commercial break- which when they should get off the stage, he took another glance at Harry's seat to see that he wasn't there anymore.

The boys changed back and went back to their seats- Harry wasn't there anymore, he wanted to send a quick text but he knew Harry wouldn't answer him.

They were just doing fine and Louis had to ruined it once more. So by the end of the night, the boys won all three of their nominations, a few more pictures was taken with the awards on their hands.

There was an after party the boys was looking forward to, but Louis said he has to see Harry, so he left the boys on their own and drove back to the hotel they're staying at.

He was glad to see Harry in his room, he was watching the Telly, he changed out of his suit and had put on a more comfortable shirt and sweat pants. "Harry," he called, closed the door and Harry didn't even bother looking up from the television.

Louis sat next to him, he didn't know what to say, he felt like he lost all words he had planned to say to Harry.

But Harry broke their silence first.

"You promised,"

"I needed it." Louis defended himself.

Harry scoffed, Louis was unbelievable, he was defending himself instead of just saying he's sorry he broke a promise and about to ruin his fucking brain.

"Have you really not took it since I found it?"

Louis bit his bottom lip, he couldn't tell Harry the truth, but he knows he has to. All he has been doing and saying to Harry have been a lie and Harry just wanted what's best for him. "No, I still do- I can't stop."

That's when Harry turned to face him with his jaw dropped. "I can't believe you,"

"Harry, look, you smoked weed, this isn't really different from that-"

"Of course it's different! I don't smoke weed on a daily basis and let it kill me!" Harry raised his voice, getting up from the sofa. Louis got up too, looking at Harry with nothing but sadness. "Have you seen all the weight you've been losing?! This is fucking going to kill you! And I'm-I'm really worried about you."

Louis didn't know what to say, Harry got a point but Harry didn't know how exhausting being in stage is and how much courage and energy he did, something not even caffeine could cover.

"I'm not gonna die, I know what I'm doing." Louis promised.

Harry didn't said anything, there weren't much to go to avoid Louis. It was way too early to sleep and he's going to end up sleeping next to Louis anyway. "You're unbelievable,"

"I'm sorry," he said, walking closer to the boy, his hand crawled up Harry's cheek. "It's just for work now, okay?"

That wasn't good enough for Harry, he wanted to save Louis and he didn't know how. Maybe told him to go to a rehab clinic, that if he actually would go.

Louis leaned down to press his lips against Harry, mainly to shut him up and forget about everything. Harry shouldn't let him but he missed Louis' lips, so there he was kissing Louis, letting the older boy take control of his body.

  
He shouldn't give in. He really shouldn't. He should stop him before it's too late, but he let him anyway.

There they were on the hotel bed, once again Louis hovered over him, leaving marks on his body, Harry was already stripped down and Louis was half naked, kissing his boy like there were no tomorrow.

How can he let Louis do this to him- after what he did before, after breaking a promise tonight, he still let Louis touch him. When he told himself never again would Louis touch him.

He missed Louis' touch and a blowjob wasn't enough, he couldn't believe Louis manage to get what he did to be the last thing in Harry's mind just by putting in a finger then followed by another one.

"God, Louis," Harry moaned, hands holding onto the pillow he was resting on. "Kiss me,"

Louis climb back up to the boy giving him a kiss while two fingers was still working inside of Harry.

"Three?" Louis asked then Harry nodded, letting the boy slipped in another lube covered finger stretching the pregnant boy.

Harry moaned, enjoying the feeling, watching Louis work on his ass really turned him on. "Fuck me, I'm ready."

"Are you sure?" Louis asked, softly, pulling out his fingers anyway because he was sure himself that Harry was ready, he just needs Harry to confirm.

Harry nodded again as he watched Louis pull down his trouser, spreading lube on his already hard member. "Harry, are you sure about this?" He asked again, he was scared Harry was going to stop him in the middle and Louis would resist to pull out and he'd just hurt his boy again.

Harry nodded once more, leaning up to kiss Louis' lips once more then leaving his lips to nibble on Louis' ears. "Make love to me," he whispered and Louis didn't need to be told twice.

This was a bad idea, a part of Harry told himself but the other side of Harry wanted this. He longed for this. He missed it and he missed Louis.


	14. Chapter 14

Harry woke up regretting everything he did last night with Louis.

There he was sleeping peacefully next to Harry, he must've gotten a good sleep from last night.

The thing was, it was perfect; Louis didn't hurt him and they kept telling each other how much they love each other. He wasn't even sure why they're doing this, they're not together anymore and Harry didn't want to be.

He didn't want to be with Louis after what he did- and maybe tonight Louis proved Harry wrong by not hurting him, but that doesn't mean he's over what Louis did. He thinks he could never get over it. He even still get night terrors over it.

And maybe last night only happened because they were both lonely and they had each other, and no one would probably want to fuck Harry at this state except Louis. So he let him. Is that why he let him? Harry didn't want to have his feelings for Louis to grow back. He couldn't.

How is he going to face Louis today after last night? And to think they have to be in the plane together till they made it back to England.

He was too occupied with his thought he didn't notice Louis was waking up, smiling to see Harry still next to him and awake. "Morning, handsome."

Harry drifted off this thoughts, eyes was now on a sleepy Louis.

"Morning," Harry replied, eyes still starring Louis who's literally still half asleep. "We're leaving today, right? I can't miss anymore classes."

Louis hummed in response, scooting closer to Harry to leaned in and peck him on the lips.

That was what made Harry flinched away, turning around so he didn't have to face Louis.

Louis knew by that, Harry wasn't having a good mood and he probably shouldn't try and touch him today.

The whole plane ride was crowded, with the other boy and their team and Harry who was sat next to Louis, they weren't talking to each other. Harry had his headphones on and was looking down the airplane window. While Louis was busy talking to everyone else in the plane.

Harry was glad they didn't have to awkwardly sits next to each other, and he was glad Louis didn't ask him what's wrong or even try to touch him, the only time Louis hold his hand today was when they were at the airport and paparazzi also fans were crowding them, so he had to hold his hand instead he lost him, but mostly likely he's only holding it for the paparazzi to snap.

The past days has been the same, Harry wouldn't talk to Louis unless it's dinner time- that if Harry actually made it home before dinner.

Most times he said he's busy and eat outside, and come home really late at night. Louis was the same some other time, he was done with the album and the shoot and was now working on their new music video, that's way too exhausting for Louis to do without his powder friend.

And Harry would be lying if he said he doesn't know Louis is still using them. He knew but he didn't bother arguing with Louis over it. Louis was going to win the argument somehow anyway like he always do.

It was one night after a week since the VMAs when Harry wasn't out late since Sarah was spending the weekend at Clare's. Louis just got back from his video set with a bucket of KFC Chicken Harry had ordered.

That was the first dinner they had together since Tuesday, they were sat on the sofa, Harry was slouching as he dig into his chickens with his legs up on the coffee table watching talk shows.

"So, I was thinking we are going to start renovating soon." Louis started. "And the house's going to be messy, do you want to stay at a hotel for awhile or maybe stay at mum's? Since I'll be finished with my video we can stay at Donny for awhile."

Harry shrugged. "I have school,"

"I mean during Christmas break, Harry." Louis pointed out. It was almost Christmas break; Harry didn't even notice that.

Harry thought of it then nodded, agreeing. "Yeah okay, We are spending Christmas at Donny anyways so might as well."

Louis smiled, putting down his half eaten chicken Harry had offer from the bucket.

"Finish it," Harry ordered but Louis refused to answer him. "Lou, you haven't eaten all night- finish it."

"I've had so much to eat with the boys today," Louis lied and Harry knew he did, he was really worried with the amount of weight Louis was losing. He don't want Louis to die at a young age especially with their baby coming.

"I don't get why we are renovating anyway," Harry said, all of the sudden. "I mean, once I leave you don't need a nursery anymore, do we?"

Louis chuckled. "Why would you leave?"

"Because, Louis." Harry turned to face the older boy. "I'm not going to stay with my ex boyfriend forever and You'll probably kick me out when people get over your pregnant boyfriend story."

Well that came out all of the sudden. Louis didn't know what to say. "Harry, i'm not going to kick you out."

"You did before, there's no stopping you unless it's for the attention." Harry was going too far in Louis' opinion.

Louis scoffed in disbelief. "Harry- all I've been lately was nothing but nice to you, I offered you to stay, I bought you anything you want, I went to the doctor's with you- for fuck's sake I even sleep with you and this is what you think of me?!"

"God, you made me look like your charity work, I'm having your baby! You're supposed to do those things anyways but you- decided to be an asshole and told me to kill our baby! and then suddenly beg for me to come back cause you want your face all over the fucking news!"

Louis got up from the seat, he couldn't believe what Harry had said. He actually had the courage to say all this. He didn't said anything as he stormed out of the living room and into his room.

He had tried his best to give Harry all the nice things in the world and this was Harry's reaction.

For the rest of the night he stayed in his room, sitting by the window enjoying the view of London with a cigarette between his fingers, inhaling and exhaling the stick.

He would hear sounds from Harry going back and forth to the bathroom or the kitchen, he was still awake and it was almost midnight.

Ever since the pregnancy Harry's been tired all the time and sleep as early as he could, he wouldn't waste time wandering around or design clothes on his free time anymore he would rather sleep.

Why isn't he fucking asleep now instead of making a lot of noises outside?

Louis drifted out of his thoughts when he heard his door knocked.

God, what does Harry wants now? If he ask Louis to order some food he's going to fucking scream.

"Lou?" Harry let himself in, looking around the room to find Louis sitting down by the window, eyes was already on him.

He didn't even ask permission as he came inside the room, closing the door behind him- at least he's not scared to be in a closed room with Louis anymore. "Hey, um, can you turn that off?" He was referring to the cigarette between Louis' fingers. Harry's nose scrunched just from the air that smells like smokes even though Louis literally had the window open.

He exhales one more time before colliding the bud with the ashtray making sure it's off and watch a small smile crawled up Harry's face as he came closer and sat by him where the ashtray was at, Harry picked it up and put it by the window frame, Louis had his legs up so the small seat was occupied and Harry didn't have much room but he wanted to sit next to Louis.

He had always love this spot by the room, it was where he used to calm himself down after a fight with Louis or after failing an exam or ruining a new design. He missed sitting here and right now sitting here with Louis as he looked down to the view, he never realized how much he misses this until now.

"What do you want?" Louis asked coldly, his face shows no expression but Harry knew he was still upset over what Harry had said.

Not that what Harry said was wrong and he stand by everything he said. "I can't sleep, I thought you'd be asleep."

"If I was what are you going to do? Stab me in my sleep?" Louis didn't sound like he was joking but Harry giggled anyway.

"Lou! Of course I won't do that!" He giggled. "I just, don't feel like sleeping alone tonight- it's cold, is it okay if I sleep here with you?"

Louis sighed. He didn't said anything as he got up from the seat and into the connected bathroom, brushing his teeth as he heard Harry's going through something.

"What are you doing?" Louis asked from the bathroom after he spit in the sink.

"I'm looking for something comfortable to wear!" Harry called back, going through the closets they used to share.

He went to the drawers and that's where he saw it. Those pair of panties Louis had made him wear once. And how they drove Louis crazy in the Victoria Secret's changing room.

He's totally slipping into it not for Louis' attention but because he felt like they would be comfortable for him right now. And he was right they were really comfortable to wear along with his oversized shirt.

Harry chuckled as he put on the shirt he had left in Louis' closet, he remembered he bought this shirt two sizes too big for him to sleep on and every time Louis would try it and the shirt literally drowned the small boy.

Louis came back in and stopped in his track to see Harry slipping on the blue colored panties. "What the fuck are you wearing?"

Harry's head turned to see Louis before looking back at his legs.

"They're comfortable," Harry told him, standing up from the two seated sofa and looked at himself on the mirror. "And cute,"

And hot. Louis was going to add but he decided against it. He can't peal his eyes off of Louis but he knows he should.

He crawled up his bed laying on his usual side of the bed, Harry turned to see Louis tucking himself in started to make his way on his usual side of the bed. "Lou," he called as he lie down besides him. Louis' back was facing him. "Lou?"

"What, Harry?" Louis asked a little annoyedly that this boy won't fucking shut up and sleep.

There was a gap between them and Harry didn't like it. He wanted Louis near him. "Is it okay if we cuddle?"

"Jesus Christ, why won't you sleep already?" Louis turned around, scooting closer which made a bigger smile crawled up his face, Harry was also scooting closer, laying his head on Louis' chest.

  
Louis' arms was holding the boy close, watching him lying on his chest, wrapping his own arms around Louis. "Night, Lou."

How is Harry acting like they didn't just argue and it really made Louis mad? How is Louis so fucking weak and let Harry sleep in his arms like they're together again?

It was somewhere at three in the morning when Louis felt a pool of water on him. He jerked up, Harry was still lying on his chest.

"Harry, wake up," he shakes the boy in his arms, he was groaning, he didn't want to wake up. "Harry, I think your water just broke."

Harry quickly jerked up, confused, how can his water broke he was nowhere near giving birth.

But the bed was wet, which scares Harry also until he realized- "Fuck,"

"What is it?!" Louis was already panicking reaching for the lamp on the nightstand next to him to turn it on.

Harry was filled with embarrassment. "I think I might have- wet myself."

Louis stares at him confusedly, brows furrowed. "What?! Did you just fucking pee all over the bed?"

"I'm sorry! She's kicking my bladder- maybe? I don't know but I always need to pee and- I don't know." Harry was too embarrassed to even look up at Louis who finally get off the bed, groaning.

"Get up, come on, I'll clean you up." Louis sighed waiting for the boy to get up. "I'll get someone to clean up tomorrow, we can sleep in your room."

"I'm sorry," Harry squeaked as he followed Louis into their once was shared bathroom.

Louis didn't said anything as he helped the boy took off his shirt and panties.

He took of his own shirt and boxer shorts that was damped from Harry, throwing everything in the laundry basket. "We aren't gonna shower at this hour right?"

Louis chuckled, grabbing a towel and damp it with both a mixture of hot and cold water. He cleaned himself first, throwing the used towel in the laundry basket before doing the same with Harry.

Harry's bump was getting bigger, Louis couldn't see his face as he knelt to wipe the boy's legs.

Harry didn't know why he was embarrassed standing naked in front of Louis. It's not like Louis haven't seen him naked before when he did a thousand times before. "I'm sorry," he apologized one more time, looking at Louis was on his feet again.

"It's fine, I'm sure it happened to everyone." Louis grab another dry towel, wrapping it around the younger boy. "Get something else to wear and off to bed you go."

Harry obeyed, whispering a thank you as he left the bathroom. He put on more comfortable clothes and another pair of panties, sitting on the sofa as he waited for Louis.

Louis came out of the bathroom to slip on a new shirt, watching Harry stand up who's eyes still filled with embarrassment. "Harry, babe, I told you, it's fine."

Harry didn't said anything as Louis took his hand and lead him out of the room and into Harry's room.

They didn't waste any time as they climb up the bed, Louis pulled the cover over Harry, the boy still felt guilty for what he did. "Babe,"

"I jus- I kept fucking things up, don't I?" Harry sighed, frowning.

Louis kissed his forehead, trying to comfort the poor boy. "You're not fucking things up, it's fine, I'm over it already, Harry."

Harry watched the boy lie next to him, pulling Harry close to his chest. "Goodnight,"

"Night," Harry squeaked, wrapping his arms around the boy.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

"Don't go," Harry frowned as he watched Louis put on his coat about to leave to his next video shoot.

Harry's being clingy again, he hasn't left Louis' side since they woke up this morning and he told him he doesn't feel like going to school today, Louis said it was fine but he can't make Louis not go to work.

Louis sighed as he watched the boy hugging him close, his head laying on Louis' shoulder. "I'll be home in a few hours."

"No, don't go." Harry whined. He was either mad or clingy or just really horny and maybe he's just really lonely.

"You can come with me, yeah?" Louis offered, Harry looked up at him with a huge smile as he nodded and run to his room to get his phone and a new coat to wear.

Harry won't leave him alone on set. He can feel it.

  
\--

"Harry!" Niall called, excitedly, running up to him to give him a hug. "Look how big you are! Looks like you have a balloon inside your shirt!"

"Fun fact Ni, it's actually a balloon." Louis said sarcastically as he leave Harry with Niall walking over to the desert table they had on set where Zayn was standing at, his eyes was already glued on Harry.

"Hey mate," Louis greeted, grabbing a plate and filled it with brownie.

Zayn looked down on the plate. "Are those for Harry?"

Louis nodded, freezing- is this brownie...spiked?

"It's not- is it?" Louis asked Zayn who stare at him with widen eyes and then suddenly he was laughing at Louis' face.

"It's not! Mate, chill, I was kidding."

That wasn't funny.

Louis watched the two boys walking towards where they are, Harry was rubbing on his stomach as he told Niall about something that made him laugh- but what doesn't make Niall laugh?

Louis hand Harry the plate watching the boy licked his lips excitedly. "Okay, you can wait here and eat whatever you want. I'll be done soon. Today's our last day."

Harry nodded as he sat on a nearby chair, already stuffing the brownies inside his mouth.

The shoot went well and they were finally done for the entire video. Louis was happy that they've finished the new album and the music video. He doesn't have to work during Christmas and that made him so fucking glad since they'll be in Doncaster all Christmas break long.

The team decided to celebrate this day by going out for lunch together, the whole crew and the boys along with Harry were now at an all you can eat restaurant.

Harry was glad they chose this place, he could eat anything he wants and feel less embarrassed instead of ordering two plates of food. "Hey, Harry, how are you feeling?" Zayn appeared as Harry put more mash potatoes on his plate.

Harry turned to see Zayn next to him and smile at him. "Zayn! Hi! I'm doing good, how are you?"

"I'm fine," Zayn smiled as he watched Harry putting some sausages on his plate. "A-are you and Louis, together?"

Harry snorted. "No, we aren't. I don't think we can or should."

  
Zayn nodded. "I agree, you deserve better."

Harry looked up at the man again with furrowed brows. "What?"

Zayn shrugged, taking a new plate as he put some potato salad on it as he continued himself. "I mean, I know you're only staying for the sake of the baby and all- but think about yourself, do you want to be stuck in that house forever?"

"Well, I'll be graduating soon and I can move out and rent a new house with my baby." Harry thought of this, Zayn thought. "Or if I'm lucky; maybe Louis wants to get back together someday."

"Did you seriously just said-" Zayn scoffed. "Harry, no offense, but this guy- hurts you, and you want him to get back together with you?"

Harry felt his heart sunk and disappeared into his stomach. How does Zayn knows he had hurt Harry before? Did Louis told him? If he did that's the most asshole move that Louis could ever do. "Wh-who told you that?"

"Louis, obviously." Zayn announced, as Harry walk away with Zayn following. "Now tell me again, would you really want to be together with that guy again?"

He stopped in his track to spot where Louis was sitting, when he found him he catch Louis' eyes starring at him and Zayn. He didn't look pleased to have Zayn near him- it's not like when Niall or Liam were with him, Louis didn't mind and wouldn't stare at them.

"Harry, listen." Zayn spoke, standing next to Harry. "If he ever- do anything bad to you ever again, let me be the first to know, yeah?"

Harry just nodded, he wasn't really paying attention to what Zayn said; something about if Louis was being an asshole. He finally left Louis' eyes, turning to face Zayn. "Thank you,"

And with that; he left and went to Louis' table, Louis was sat across from Niall and Liam, he scoot over to the seat next to him so Harry could sit in his current seat.

"What did he said to you?" Louis whispered, then kiss Harry's cheek, he was glad that the two boys were caught up in their own conversation to worry about Harry and Louis'.

Harry just shrugged and started to fill his stomach with the huge amount of food on his plate. God, he was starving and this mash potato was good.

When they finally back in the shared penthouse, Harry didn't waste time to lie on the couch, eyes was already about to close. He was exhausted. "Wake me up, in like, 30 minutes, yeah?"

Louis yelled an okay as he walks inside his room to see his bedspread changed and cleaned by the housekeeper who Louis had left a message for.

\--

It was around a week later Harry frowned as he scroll down his school's website, logging in with his ID to see his grades.

He was failing most classes and that's only because his attendance has been a mess. And winter break was starting and he didn't want to worry about school but now he is.

"Babe, don't worry," Louis was standing behind the boy where he sat on their sofa. "You will get back right on track when she's born."

"5 months to go," He looked down to the bump, rubbing it softly. "I'm scared, Lou."

Louis leaned down to squeeze his shoulder and kiss the top of his head. "You'll be fine,"

With that Louis left the boy alone, entering his room to get his luggage out. Alberto was coming in a few minutes to help them with their stuff and drive with them to Doncaster. Sadly, he won't be around in Donny which means Louis would be left alone when he goes out, the management had offer him a bodyguard for the break but Louis refused saying he'll be fine- that wasn't actually allowed and he always needs a bodyguard with him, but he promised he won't even go out a lot, Donny wasn't a place full of paparazzi or fans anyway, the fans weren't as loud or as fast as everywhere else and if he saw a fan there he knew they weren't going to call it out on social medias and perform a crowd one minute apart from their announcement.

And maybe that's what he likes the most about coming home. It's peaceful.

Harry had been thinking about what Zayn said the last time they saw each other. He realized how stupid he was for saying he wants to get back together with Louis, but at the mean time, he has no one else and he gets lonely a lot and Louis was always there for him- to get him to come or even to just hold him till he fell asleep.

And that's was enough for Harry for now. He was fine with Louis being there for him and not labeling Louis as his boyfriend or his anything except the baby's father.

"So I was thinking of names," Louis spoke in the car ride, they were both in the backseat of Louis' car and Alberto was in front with the driver. "Have you thought of it?"

Harry nodded, excitedly. "I have a few ideas, maybe you can go through them with me!"

Harry go through his bag he had been carrying around all day, looking for a piece of paper. When he found it; he hand the list to Louis.

Louis read it with so much fond, Harry had a few names scratched off with the pen, some names with question marks or explanation points. Some of them have the meanings next to them and most of them have Tomlinson written next to it. Harry wanted it to looks good with Tomlinson and that made Louis' heart melts.

Louis thought, he might've do this in class or while he's studying.

"Emily is a no," Louis started, Harry frowned. "Every little girl is named Emily, the names great- but not for Louis Tomlinson's baby."

Harry didn't said anything, he just scoots closer to Louis and rest his head on Louis' shoulder, also reading his list. "Hayley, why Hayley?"

"I don't know, it sounds nice with Tomlinson." Harry pointed to the word Tomlinson next to it but Louis didn't want a Hayley.

God, Louis was picky.

"Rosie?" Louis asked when his eyes scanned the one that says the word Rosie. Of course Harry would thought of Rosie. "That's in the maybe pile."

Harry smiled. "I actually really like Cara- or Casey."

"Casey is out of the list, why do you have common names written all over this thing?" Louis chuckled, scanning his eyes over the names.

Harry pouted. "I don't know, I just think they're pretty."

"What about Aleah?" Louis asked when he saw the name on the list.

Harry shrugged. "I wasn't sure about that one but Sarah suggested it."

Louis groaned. Why is this so fucking hard why can't they just choose a name and agree.

"Hannah?" Louis furrowed his brow, these are probably names Harry chose from a baby names website Louis had seen on Harry's browser history. "You know what- we will think of this later."

"But Rosie is a maybe, right?" Harry smiled, looking over at Louis. At least with Rosie his list wasn't completely a hundred percent ugly.

\--

The thing about coming home is; Harry and Louis used to be neighbors back in Donny, so Harry would prefer to stay in his old room with his family while Louis would choose his. Mostly every time they went home they would just go their separate ways and later at night Louis would sneak in Harry's room, Louis always said that it's for old time's sake and that somehow turned Harry on which leads him to let Louis fuck him in his bed and Harry would say- for old time's sake.

But he's not going to sneak into Harry's room this year, he wasn't sure if Harry would still like it- maybe Harry wants to be alone this year.

Once they arrived, the driver and Alfredo says their goodbye and left with Louis' car, they were standing between both of their parents houses about to go their own ways like they usually do and see each other for Christmas dinner.

"What if you stay with me this time?" Louis suggested. "I have to keep an eye on you and our baby, right? And Gemma's kid going to be there it will get stressful."

"You have six siblings and you're worried about Drew?" He laughed, referring to Gemma's son; his nephew.

Louis smiled. "I can control my siblings, I can't control Drew or his mother."

"Fine, Lets just go over to my mum first then, yeah? And say hi?"

Louis nodded as they went up Anne's porch, Harry pressed the bell button waiting for Anne to open the door.

When the door opened, revealing an Anne. A huge grin crawled up her face as she hug her son. "Hi baby! Look at you!"

"Hi mum," Harry hugged the woman back, she pulled away to look down at the bump with widen eyes and a huge smile.

"And Louis!" She turned to face Louis, leaning in for a hug, She's known Louis since he was 16 especially since he was always over to be with Harry- Louis was like a son to him. The breakup ruined Anne, he couldn't believe his son had broken up from the long term relationship Anne thought was going to last forever.

He hugged Louis and pulled away a tear was already falling from her eyes. "Louis, I can't remember the last time I see you, you're so- about to be a dad!"

Louis chuckled. "Yeah, that's pretty- huge, isn't it?"

"Darling, huge is your career and how far you've gone- this, this is a blessing and if you could handle a world tour you can handle one small human being."

Anne wasn't completely right, he couldn't handle a world tour no without the amount of drugs he's been taking- and a child, that's scary, he hasn't even thought about how scary having a baby would be like.

They spent the evening at Harry's since Harry told her they'll be staying at Louis'. Anne didn't know why Harry wanted to stay with his ex boyfriend while the whole time they were together they have always separate ways during their time being home.

But Anne didn't want to ask them about it. Soon enough Louis left to go over to his mum and Harry told him he'll be right over soon. He was still waiting for Gemma.

"So is everything's all good with Louis?" Robin, his step dad asked a few minutes after Louis left.

Harry shrugged, they were sat on the dining table since Anne had started on making dinner. "I don't know, I mean- I guess? We aren't together though."

"Sweetheart, I know it's your choice but," Anne started as she came from the kitchen with a big bowl of spaghetti. "Louis is a great guy maybe you can- think about it and-"

"Mum," Harry cuts her off. "I don't want us together, not right now at least."

 


	16. Chapter 16

The next few days has been great, Harry spent his days playing with Drew or Louis' little siblings or with all of them altogether which stresses Louis out to see.

But kids genuinely made Harry happy and he can't wait till his own can see the world and play around with him.

Harry loves coming home cause he gets to see Louis' little siblings and Drew and played with them all day long, it's always a reason he can't wait to get home.

Somewhere before dinner time, Harry opened his phone and he hasn't even check it all day.

There was a message from Zayn. He'd be lying if he said Zayn hasn't been messaging him, he has been since the last time they saw each other. Most times the conversation ended with Zayn stopped replying but then he would say something again and make sure the conversation won't die.

But it's been two days since Zayn last texted him, which made him kinda glad to see a text from Zayn again. He enjoyed talking to Zayn, he was nice to talk to and made jokes Harry would actually laugh at.

The text was said "hey pretty :) how's ur break going? xx"

Harry replied with a quick "all good :D how are you over at Bradford?"

It didn't took Zayn a minute to answer though Zayn had been waiting all day for Harry to reply- but Harry didn't even touch his phone today to know that he had texted him.

"Actually can't wait to get back home and see u x"

That made Harry's cheeks turned red. This was also a thing, Zayn would send him flirty messages and Harry never know how to answer them. The only person he's been with was Louis, and flirty texts weren't awkward with Louis cause they were together when they send each other messages like that. But with Zayn it was, he didn't want to say something wrong to Zayn.

"We could meet up when we r back!!!" Harry hit send, waiting for Zayn to reply. He was already typing. God, that was fast.

Then Zayn's new message pop out of their chat. "I'd love to :) miss ur curls & that bump xxx"

"Harry, mum wanted to know if you'll be having dinner with us or with Anne?" Louis walks in his childhood room to find Harry sat on the edge of the bed with his phone in his hand. "Who are you texting? you look happy."

Harry locked his phone immediately as Louis sat next to him on the bed to see the screen was nothing but black- but then another Zayn messaged popped up.

"don't u miss me?" It written.

And there was no time to hide that, Louis read all of that and the name Zayn on Harry's phone screen.

"Why are you texting Zayn?" Louis asked, calmly, his brows was furrowed.

Harry shakes his head, no, putting his phone away from Louis' view.

"Hand it over," Louis command but Harry just shakes his head again. Louis wanted to know why Harry was texting his bandmate and there was no denying that text he just read was Zayn being flirty over text messages. "Harry, hand it over."

Louis reached for the phone but Harry won't budge to give him the phone. "Harry, give it to me!"

He managed to grab Harry's wrist, pulling it towards himself as he took the phone from Harry.

He knew Harry's passcode by heart, it was their anniversary. Not sure if Harry still has that as a passcode but he's going to try anyway.

Harry was squirming, Louis was still holding down on of his wrist as Harry's free hand tried to get Louis' hands off of him.

"Don't fucking move," Louis warned typing in the passcode.

It work. The phone unlocked revealing the messages Zayn had sent him along with Harry's replies.

God, they have been flirting and texting right under Louis and Louis didn't even know this until now. he scrolled up the texts, it's been days- and Louis didn't know any of this has been happening.

"Louis, give it back!" Harry managed to get Louis' hands off of him, taking his phone back from Louis' hold.

He stood up about to leave the room but Louis didn't hesitate to stood up as well, taking his hand and pulling him back closer to Louis.

The boy turned to face Louis about to protest when he felt it.

Louis' hand collided with his cheek, it was hard, it hurt and Harry's free hand crawled up to touch his own cheek. "Wh-what-" Harry started but he was lost of words.

Why the fuck did Louis just slapped him?! Why can't he text Zayn? They weren't together anyway and Harry has every right to text the man.

"I want you to stop texting him, block his number." Louis ordered, removing Harry's own hand from his cheek so he can hold Harry's face closer to his, cupping Harry's face with one hand between his cheeks. "You hear me? No more texting Zayn or- or you will regret this."

"I can do whatever I want," Harry jerked Louis' hand off of him before storming out of the room.

God, he hoped Louis' siblings or his mum didn't heard them. The slap was quite loud and it still stung Harry's cheek.

  
Harry stayed at his mum's house that night, he skipped dinner and told everyone he wasn't hungry and was going to bed early. But really, he was starving but he didn't want anyone to notice the obvious mark on his face.

He planned on sneaking into the kitchen when everyone's asleep to eat anyway, he can wait till then.

It was in the middle of the night when everyone was asleep and Harry was about to go down to the kitchen when he heard his phone vibrates.

He reached for the phone to see a text from Louis with two hearts at the end of his name. Harry really need to change that.

"Harry" was all the text said, Harry decided to leave him on seen and left his room to eat some leftovers from the kitchen.

Luckily, there was a lot of leftovers left that he had to heat up, while he was waiting for the microwave to beep, his phone vibrates one more time.

Another text from Louis.

"I'm sorry"

Harry didn't replied to that again. Why did Louis thought apologizing over text will win Harry's heart back? He hated how Louis thinks he can get away with anything.

He just fucking slapped Harry for texting with someone, Louis had no right to do that, even if they were together; he can't just slap him because someone was flirting with him.

Harry's food was half eaten when he got another text.

"Harry :(((("

He was annoyed that Louis won't fucking shut up. So he decided to finally answer.

"I'm trying to sleep" he replied with a lie but Louis didn't need to know that.

The answer came quick. "ure not in ur bed ???? I'm at ur window"

Of course he is.

Harry sighed as he went back up his room to find Louis out there, looking down his phone waiting for Harry to answer, but he turned to see the younger boy making his way to open this window.

"Harry," Louis climbed in the room, his hands immediately reached for Harry's cheek that was marked with his hand. "I'm so sorry, I know what I did was fucked up- I'm sorry, babe."

Harry didn't said anything, he jerked Louis' hands off of him.

Louis wasn't going to stop talking though. "I'm sorry, but Zayn- God, why Zayn?!"

"What do you mean why Zayn? Why can't he be my friend?" Harry was annoyed. What he said offend Harry.

"Because it's Zayn!" Louis try to prove his point. "You know he has some kind of feelings for you! You can't just be friend with that man ! He wanted more!"

"Well, is that a bad thing? It's not like I'm not available to date." Harry pointed out making Louis took a deep breath, Harry was so fucking hard to understand.

"Do you really want to date Zayn ?"

"That's not the point, Louis!" Harry rolled his eyes, losing his patience for this man. "The point is I have my rights to text anyone- or even flirt or even date and you have no right to stop me! Whether it's Zayn or someone else!"

Louis groaned. "No- not Zayn!"

"Is this about your band again? Your reputation and your fucking career?"

"Fuck, why is it so hard to talk to you?!" Louis ran his own fingers through his hair, he was trying to calm down he didn't want to wake up Harry's parents or Gemma and her family. "Zayn- isn't a good guy, yeah? I know him and-"

"How bad can he be?" Harry cuts him off. "Does he hit his baby's mother? Probably won't. Does he takes advantage of his boyfriend? Bet not. Does he-"

"Stop it!" Louis shuts him up, he was getting tired of this. Why was Harry defending Zayn? "You know what ?! Go on, be friend with him! Go out with him for all I care! And you'll see for yourself."

With that, he left Harry and went out by the window again.

Why is Louis so against Zayn? They were best mates and now he's taking shit about Zayn.

\---

Then they didn't talk to each other or visit each other for the past few days that has passed.

Harry hated being apart from Louis at this state of his pregnancy, but Louis was being an asshole.

Harry's mum would ask if he and Louis are okay or if something happened, but Harry would just say that he prefer to spend his break with his family.

It was the night before Christmas Eve, the night before Louis' birthday when Harry started to feel bad. December 23rd was always Harry and Louis day where they would just spend the entire day together and at midnight Harry would be the first to wish him a happy birthday and laugh at his face cause he's a year older than he was a few hours ago.

He decided to leave his house and he saw Louis outside, on his mum's front yard with his little siblings.

Harry smiled when he sees it. Louis likes kids, he really do, not as much as Harry does but he was good with them. He knows that Louis would be a great dad and seeing him sitting on the ground with his sister, Dorris as he helped her put on her barbie's dress somehow prove his point.

He walked up to them and almost tripped on Ernest who was running around the front yard with his plane toy.

Dorris was the one who looked up at Harry first, smiling as she greeted him. "Hi Harry!"

That's when Louis look up to the pregnant boy who stands next to them.

"Hey!" Harry smiled. "Do you mind if I borrow your brother for awhile?"

Dorris pouted but stand up anyway, taking her Barbie with her as she ran off to chase after Ernest.

Louis sighed as he got up from the ground, brushing the snow off of him. "Hey,"

Harry didn't really know what to say, usually Harry doesn't have to say anything and they'll just be okay with each other again. Louis kinda knew that anyway, he knew Harry was going to come up at him and act like nothing happened.

Even when Harry dumped him; Harry still decided to visit him and his excuse was returning his keys.

Harry didn't said anything, he just stands closer and hug Louis. Louis couldn't really leave him hanging so he hug the boy back. "I missed you,"

It's literally only been a few days, Harry's probably in his clingy mode. Louis had decided he liked horny mode than clingy mode but clingy was better than angry Harry, God, pregnancy really did Harry well.

Louis didn't said anything to him, he just hold the boy in his arms. Sure, he missed Harry too, but no he's not gonna tell him that- he was still kinda mad at Harry anyway. "Can we go to that coffee shop we used to go to after school and write songs together?"

Louis' heart sunk into his stomach at the fact that Harry wanted to go there. That was a small coffee shop near their school and Louis would ask if Harry wanted to go when Louis didn't want to go home from a fight with his mum or his sisters.

"Y-yeah, if you want to." Was all that Louis said and before they know it they took Anne's car to the coffee shop, passing by their old school.

The car ride wasn't awkward at all, they'd look around the street and reminisce memories they had at places they pointed at.

Like Louis' old classmate, Stan, they pass by his house and they remembered the party he threw and that was the first party Harry ever been to where underage drinking has been involved- also maybe the first time Harry gotten drunk and throw up all over Jay's car seat.

And then there's the local CD store where Harry buys all of Louis' birthday and Christmas presents from, they're mostly just vinyls from Louis' favorite band.

And then their school. Lord, that felt like a hundred years ago since they started holding hands in school and everyone's eyes was on them. He missed it. They both do.

Finally, they arrived at their destination. Now this place; it has the most beautiful memories, they'd write songs together here, do their homework together- this was the first place where Louis has kissed Harry in public, everyone stared at them and Louis loves the attention. Still do, doesn't he?

Harry ordered hot chocolates for both of them and a plate of cookies. The place wasn't crowded since everyone's probably with their family. It was the day before Christmas Eve after all.

They sat at the far corner where they used to always seat because the plug was near and they'd charge their laptop that they used to charge their phones all day long.

"I almost forgot this place exists." Louis admitted, looking around the place from his seat.

Not much has changed, the menus has changed, there were more variants now and of course the barista changed. But everything else was still the same.

"Me too," Harry chuckled, sitting next to Louis, head dropping to Louis' forehead. "This was the exact place where you kissed me, remember?"

"I remember," Louis confirmed, his head rested on top of Harry's that was resting on his shoulder. "An old woman started crying, she was emotional."

"I wonder how she's doing." Harry added making Louis laughed.

Why would anyone wondered who's someone they don't know is doing?

Louis leaned in to the table to took a sip of his hot chocolate, even the hot chocolate still tasted the same. He loves this hot chocolate.

"Wouldn't it be nice to raise her here?" Harry asked, referring to the baby as he rubbed his stomach, softly. "She'll grow up to things you grew up to and I don't know, it's sounds nice, doesn't it?"

Louis chuckled. "But it won't take your fashion career far, you'll just end up as a local tailor if you stay here, Harry."

"You're right but-" Harry sighed, trailing off himself. He didn't know what else to say to that. He got a point, Harry wanted to make the fashion industry and he needs to live in a big city and show it to the big city to get there. "Do you realize that when she's born nothing will ever be the same again."

"Everything's already not the same," Louis mumbled, he hoped Harry didn't heard him but he did. Harry brush it off though, they'll just end up arguing. Harry knows it.

They spent an entire two hours there, talking about the old days when Louis was just his cute neighbor who drives him to school and taught him how to masturbate.

He missed that Louis. That's the only Louis he ever known, not this Louis who would hurt him and snort drugs behind his back. Harry would be lying if he said Louis doesn't scare him anymore. He still do, and to prove his point- Louis literally slapped him a few days ago how is he supposed to get over everything else Louis did before?

But he needed Louis, not just for the baby but for the sake of his pregnancy. He can't afford losing Louis again. He needs him for now and Louis knows how much Harry needs him.

"Lou, I haven't gotten your birthday present yet," Harry announced as they leave the coffee shop, hand in hand. "Can you just pick something you want and I'll buy it for you."

Louis smiled, fondly. Stopping in his track as his hand left Harry's to rest it on Harry's bump. "This is more than enough that you can give me, babe, I don't think I want anything else."

He didn't know if Louis really meant that. Louis has been great for the past weeks; but, it was still hard to trust him since Harry still remembers and probably won't forget when Louis wanted to kill her off. "Do you mean that?"

Louis nodded, kissing Harry's forehead. Harry didn't know why; but tears starts to build up in his eyes and his cheeks are all wet now.

"Harry, you don't have to cry." Louis laughed,wiping his cheek with his thumb."There's something I want though, I just want you; to trust me, to listen to me, to stop being so stubborn when I told you who's good for you and who's not."

Is this about Zayn? Why is Louis still not over that. "Okay," Harry squeaked, reaching to hold Louis' hand one more as they walk in Anne's car.

They never really made it home after the coffee shop, Louis had managed to park in a parking lot somewhere and got Harry begging for him on the backseat of Harry's mum's car.

"Louis," Harry cried when he felt the man inside him, they didn't have lube and Harry had to make sure Louis' cock as wet enough but it still stings. "Oh god, I love you."

Louis thrust in deeper, holding Harry's hips, Harry's back was facing him, Harry was looking for something to hold on to, he had to reach for the headrest.

"Say that again, fuck." Louis ordered, thrusting in faster when he heard what Louis said.

"I love you, Lou. Lou-" Harry moaned, leaning back to face the man behind him but they didn't have enough space for that. "Go, faster, please-"

Louis wanted to. But he was scared Harry would start screaming for him to get off- he didn't know if he should, but Harry was asking for it.

"Are you sure?" Louis thrust to hit Harry's spot making the pregnant man scream.

"Yes! Yes, right there!" Harry has always been loud in bed and Louis loves that about him. He loves fucking Harry when he's extra loud like right now.

Louis thrust in faster, hitting the spot repeatedly. "Fuck," Louis groaned, leaning in to kiss Harry's neck. "I love you, baby,"

"I love you, Lou." Harry says one more time, one hand reaching for his own cock to make him come faster.

Louis saw it though, and he didn't want Harry to come from his hand.

"Stop that, no touching," Louis scoffed, slapping his hand off of himself.

Harry whined, fucking himself back down on Louis' cock. "Then hurry the fuck up, I want to come."

"Harry, I'm in charge here-" Louis reached over to touch Harry's cock, tugging it on it fast. "I get to decide when you get to come."

"Louis, Louis!" Harry moaned, he wasn't even listening to what Louis says and the heat was getting too hot even if its snowing outside.

And with that they came together, Harry came all over the car seat while Louis comes inside his baby's mother. "Fuck, I love you so much, Harry, my boy."

"Your boy," Harry repeated as he feel Louis' pull out and his eyes was getting heavy. Why was he so sleepy ? He can't even keep to open his eyes, and with that he fell asleep on the back seat with Louis' come dripping out of him.


End file.
